Current Tunes: Misty Edwards
Current Plans: R&R (Including reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier)
Current Excitement: Moving in a month!
Wow. SO I know I neglected blogging. Every time I wanted to sit down and blog about something going on in my life, I just got lethargic and opted to do something else instead. That, and I've really had only a couple hours of spare time in the past many moons.
But I felt that today was God's gift to me, and I'd like to share about it with you invisible souls.
I woke up inexplicably REALLY early. And was AWAKE. So then I had a nice shower and reading in bed time. Some friends of mine who I haven't seen in awhile were at church, and afterwards we went to Wendy's, which was fabulous. Then I came home and had like a 45 minute nap, which was perfect, because it left me refreshed rather than groggy. I woke up to the sound of booming, house-shaking thunder. And I felt GOOD. Just a nice, happy feeling.
So then I went to my friend's grad party. And she lives in Woodbury. This would be awesome, except that it was POURING. And there was road construction/detours. And I couldn't see the road or the other cars. I was freaking out. It took me 40 minutes to get there, and traffic was busy and barely moving. And I had no idea where I was going, but by the grace of God I arrived safe and sound to spend an hour or so with my dear friend at her party, eating carrots. Yummy. I was still in a good mood, but I was kind of dreading the drive home due to scary weather.
However, as I was leaving the party, I saw this gorgeous, thick rainbow low in the sky. I about peed my pants. Because I love rainbows. And that just got me thinking about how beautiful God's creation is, and how great of an artist our Creator is. So I keep driving, west on 94. And the sky is just unspeakably fantastic. Northish, over St. Paul, there is this WALL of grey clouds. You can tell it's raining hard over there. But around the grey clouds, there's spots of fluffy white and pale blue. It's like God took His thumb and smudged a splotch of grey, smearing it down to the landscape. I was breathless just viewing it. The grey clouds were so ... dark, and rolly, and powerful looking. And in my head I was like, this calls for Misty Edwards. So I pop in the cd as I'm merging on to 35E. And if you haven't heard the song before, the lyrics are pretty simple:
My soul longs for You (2X)
Nothing else will do (2X) (repeat several times)
I believe you will come like the rain. (repeat a lot)
So, come like the rain. (also repeat a lot)
And so there I am, driving through the rain and the storm clouds, and I'm just praising God through the storm, literally. I can't explain it. The vast power of the sky just flattened me in its beauty and glory. I also felt some kind of personal connection to the sky, like God was painting it all just for me. It felt intimate, the sky.
So, then, the song gets to a point where Misty sings, "Hallelujah, hallelujah, You make all things new, all things new" over and over again. And just as the song reaches that point, the freeway bursts out of cloud cover into this GLORIOUS daylight! Pale blue skies with fluffy, rolling white clouds. And this liquid gold sunlight is just washing over me. I started tearing up, honestly, it was so perfect. After driving through such wicked weather all afternoon, seeing this perfect, still weather was a blessing. I could still see the black and grey clouds in my mirrors, thundering and swirling. But all that was ahead was this brilliant day. God filled me with this love so big I almost couldn't stand it.
GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW.
After a wretched storm, although beautiful in its merciless power, God made the day new. He renewed the sunlight's strength, gave him back his dominance in the sky. The sun won the day.
God does that in our lives, my loves. He brings us through this awful times of anguish and calamity. He not only brings us to them, He brings us THROUGH these times. Through- that means we make it to the other side. Always. Earlier today, driving to the party in the heavy rain, I was so terrified. I thought I would lose control or hit a car I couldn't see through my windshield. But God brought me safely to the party, and He rewarded me with a glorious vista on the way home. God is good, He is so, so good Beloved.
I'm gonna be honest here- My flame's been flickering. I've been working a lot, and I've been feeling discouraged about how little time I'll have with friends and family before I leave (the date's August 8th, mark your calendars!). I've been worrying about buying stuff for my new dwelling place, worrying about not having enough time, worrying about missing people, worrying about money, worrying about moving out and living without my mom to answer all of my stupid questions. Worrying. Faltering, fretting, stressing, and retreating.
But God makes all things new. Miraculously, He's given me this whole evening to do with as I please. He's renewing my strength on this Sabbath to get through the coming week of work, work, and more work. I need His renewal every morning, but loves, He'll do it. He delights to be our strength.
Psalm 27, v 13-14 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Cheerio, mates. See you around!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
In which I offer comfort
Current Tunes: Tegan & Sara (Sainthood)
Current Plans: Finish Kendra's senior photos, study for World Lit final, watch Pretender
Current Excitement: This weekend/graduation
To sum up my life in one word: Stressssss! My mind never shuts up! To-do lists, calendars, meetings, projects, papers, exams, work, scheduling, editing, finishing, finalizing, printing, due dates, requirements, evaluations... My mind is spinning out of control. I just want to be DONE with finals and college and school and everything. Can I? Please?
Bah. I'm trying to manage everything and make sure I have time to unwind. But it's hard. What I REALLY need is some Jesus time. Every day I get more and more excited about going to IHOP, because there my days will be structured around HIM.
You know what's a bummer, literally? Discontent. I'm encountering a lot of people lately in this season of stress and change who just cannot see the bright side of things. It's a constant urge to grow up, get out, forget, and hate what's here. But HERE is good! I'm not speaking physically, because I'll be the first to say that MN is lame. I mean this MOMENT is good! These people you're currently with are good. They need you, what you have to offer.. I'm trying to remind myself of this as well. I'm ready to GO GO GO. But in a few months, most of us won't be here anymore. We're all going off to start our lives. And how are you going to feel when nothing's the same anymore? When everything you were used to is suddenly foreign ground?
Listen, you're here, in this moment, for a reason. You are in THIS place with THESE people at THIS time for a purpose. Rest in it, soak it up, and stop complaining! Let your heart find comfort in the God of all comfort, who knows your life's story because HE wrote it!
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3)
2 Corinthians is a brilliant book full of goodness. Read it.
Also, check out the band Castledoor. I think they are THE BEST.
And try to be contented.
Current Plans: Finish Kendra's senior photos, study for World Lit final, watch Pretender
Current Excitement: This weekend/graduation
To sum up my life in one word: Stressssss! My mind never shuts up! To-do lists, calendars, meetings, projects, papers, exams, work, scheduling, editing, finishing, finalizing, printing, due dates, requirements, evaluations... My mind is spinning out of control. I just want to be DONE with finals and college and school and everything. Can I? Please?
Bah. I'm trying to manage everything and make sure I have time to unwind. But it's hard. What I REALLY need is some Jesus time. Every day I get more and more excited about going to IHOP, because there my days will be structured around HIM.
You know what's a bummer, literally? Discontent. I'm encountering a lot of people lately in this season of stress and change who just cannot see the bright side of things. It's a constant urge to grow up, get out, forget, and hate what's here. But HERE is good! I'm not speaking physically, because I'll be the first to say that MN is lame. I mean this MOMENT is good! These people you're currently with are good. They need you, what you have to offer.. I'm trying to remind myself of this as well. I'm ready to GO GO GO. But in a few months, most of us won't be here anymore. We're all going off to start our lives. And how are you going to feel when nothing's the same anymore? When everything you were used to is suddenly foreign ground?
Listen, you're here, in this moment, for a reason. You are in THIS place with THESE people at THIS time for a purpose. Rest in it, soak it up, and stop complaining! Let your heart find comfort in the God of all comfort, who knows your life's story because HE wrote it!
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3)
2 Corinthians is a brilliant book full of goodness. Read it.
Also, check out the band Castledoor. I think they are THE BEST.
And try to be contented.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
In which I follow
Current Tunes: The Blow
Current Plans: Shutting out the world, editing, and have a snuggle with Jesus.
Current Excitement: The next four days! They're going to rock.
Hello imaginary friends.
I've been having a pretty rough few weeks here. I have this awful cough that keeps me up at night, so sleeping has been a struggle. I miss it soooo much! And on top of that, I'm stressed to the breaking point with school, momstuff, and all those to-do lists playing in loops in my head. Meow. But this weekend will bring me some peace... I hope. Or I might just be so busy that I forget about it all.
Tomorrow after classes I'm hopefully hanging out with my love Susie and seeing the play at the high school. Friday is Stillwater with friend Marissa! Saturday is Duluth with the Quadsquad. Imma show 'em the town. And Sunday, Mother's Day, will be a picnic with family and an evening with the birthday girl and my other bfffffffff, Sarah. Can't waaaait!
Then it's back to real life. One more week of classes, which includes two exams and a group project, then the week after that is FINALS, with three written finals and one group project, condensed into three days.
THEN I AM DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL!
Soooo excited.
Also I'm hoping to mail in my IHOP application next week. Ugh. I wish I could just go. I'm ready for my next life. Plus I need to really soak in some Jesus. My life has been TOO busy lately to absorb His glory fully, which causes me to be less stable. He stabilizes me!
Here's a verse that was shared in chapel today. It's at the beginning of Acts when Jesus is telling His disciples to go out and spread the Word. They ask Him what his plans are and if the Father will restore Israel. Jesus replied, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority" (Acts 1:7). I like this verse because it's a sharp reminder that it's not our place to know and understand God's plans for our lives! HE has all authority. He's already written everything down in His calendar. So we don't need to worry about it. God will not leave us hanging. He'll show up if we ask Him to.
Also, here's the chorus of one of the songs we sang. We got to sing it in spanish, which was SO COOL. I recognized it as 'my language.' But here it is in english-
"If you lead me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me I will go. If you heal me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, I will go. Yo ire."
That's what the cry of my heart is now. I don't know what the future holds, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing or living or loving or learning. But my God does, and my God is enough! So if He leads, will be right behind Him. And that is comfort.
<3
Current Plans: Shutting out the world, editing, and have a snuggle with Jesus.
Current Excitement: The next four days! They're going to rock.
Hello imaginary friends.
I've been having a pretty rough few weeks here. I have this awful cough that keeps me up at night, so sleeping has been a struggle. I miss it soooo much! And on top of that, I'm stressed to the breaking point with school, momstuff, and all those to-do lists playing in loops in my head. Meow. But this weekend will bring me some peace... I hope. Or I might just be so busy that I forget about it all.
Tomorrow after classes I'm hopefully hanging out with my love Susie and seeing the play at the high school. Friday is Stillwater with friend Marissa! Saturday is Duluth with the Quadsquad. Imma show 'em the town. And Sunday, Mother's Day, will be a picnic with family and an evening with the birthday girl and my other bfffffffff, Sarah. Can't waaaait!
Then it's back to real life. One more week of classes, which includes two exams and a group project, then the week after that is FINALS, with three written finals and one group project, condensed into three days.
THEN I AM DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL!
Soooo excited.
Also I'm hoping to mail in my IHOP application next week. Ugh. I wish I could just go. I'm ready for my next life. Plus I need to really soak in some Jesus. My life has been TOO busy lately to absorb His glory fully, which causes me to be less stable. He stabilizes me!
Here's a verse that was shared in chapel today. It's at the beginning of Acts when Jesus is telling His disciples to go out and spread the Word. They ask Him what his plans are and if the Father will restore Israel. Jesus replied, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority" (Acts 1:7). I like this verse because it's a sharp reminder that it's not our place to know and understand God's plans for our lives! HE has all authority. He's already written everything down in His calendar. So we don't need to worry about it. God will not leave us hanging. He'll show up if we ask Him to.
Also, here's the chorus of one of the songs we sang. We got to sing it in spanish, which was SO COOL. I recognized it as 'my language.' But here it is in english-
"If you lead me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me I will go. If you heal me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, I will go. Yo ire."
That's what the cry of my heart is now. I don't know what the future holds, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing or living or loving or learning. But my God does, and my God is enough! So if He leads, will be right behind Him. And that is comfort.
<3
Sunday, April 18, 2010
In which I describe "The Prom"
Current Tunes: Regina Spektor
Current Plans: Whatever I feel like.
Current Excitement: ...
Meowww. I'm currently on a photo editing binge. I let myself get backed up. So. Mas.
Um. So prom was yesterday! Whew. There was a lot of build-up to that.
I had a really swell time getting ready with Sarah and Kendra. We had mac and cheese and watched Juno like we were sixteen again. It was enchanting. They looked SO gorgeous. Then there was a series of awkward moments. And dinner, which was nice but expensive. Then some deliberation, and off to THE PROM. It was nicely decorated. And I was really, really thrilled to see so many beautiful faces that I've been missing. Everyone looked really good! And I got some good dancing in. Exercise much? Bahah. I had a blast dancing with my amigos. It was a memorable evening.
I'm kind of frustrated today, because I've got to go over my Econ test and do some Econ homework. And I'm just fed up with that class. There's no way I can win. I hate feeling stupid. And this class makes me feel like an invertebrate. ugghhhh. I just want to cry a lot.
I thought I'd sleep well after last night. But my stupid brain wouldn't shut up, and I ended up waking up every few hours. And then I woke up slightly after nine and couldn't get back to sleep. So I'm still awake, but still bone tired. Today will consist of photoediting/uploading/organizing.. watching movies, reading, studying, homework, showering, napping?, and possibly some baking.
Also, I ate a new kind of apple today! A gala, I think it was. Def. not as good as Red Delicious. It was too... sandpapery and crumbly. But still pretty good. I'd gone a week or more without an apple, so at any rate I was thrilled to eat it! I also had some carrots. Trying to get my poor soul to wake up! I don't want today to be a total waste.
Hokay, that's it for now. Later folks.
<3
Current Plans: Whatever I feel like.
Current Excitement: ...
Meowww. I'm currently on a photo editing binge. I let myself get backed up. So. Mas.
Um. So prom was yesterday! Whew. There was a lot of build-up to that.
I had a really swell time getting ready with Sarah and Kendra. We had mac and cheese and watched Juno like we were sixteen again. It was enchanting. They looked SO gorgeous. Then there was a series of awkward moments. And dinner, which was nice but expensive. Then some deliberation, and off to THE PROM. It was nicely decorated. And I was really, really thrilled to see so many beautiful faces that I've been missing. Everyone looked really good! And I got some good dancing in. Exercise much? Bahah. I had a blast dancing with my amigos. It was a memorable evening.
I'm kind of frustrated today, because I've got to go over my Econ test and do some Econ homework. And I'm just fed up with that class. There's no way I can win. I hate feeling stupid. And this class makes me feel like an invertebrate. ugghhhh. I just want to cry a lot.
I thought I'd sleep well after last night. But my stupid brain wouldn't shut up, and I ended up waking up every few hours. And then I woke up slightly after nine and couldn't get back to sleep. So I'm still awake, but still bone tired. Today will consist of photoediting/uploading/organizing.. watching movies, reading, studying, homework, showering, napping?, and possibly some baking.
Also, I ate a new kind of apple today! A gala, I think it was. Def. not as good as Red Delicious. It was too... sandpapery and crumbly. But still pretty good. I'd gone a week or more without an apple, so at any rate I was thrilled to eat it! I also had some carrots. Trying to get my poor soul to wake up! I don't want today to be a total waste.
Hokay, that's it for now. Later folks.
<3
Friday, April 9, 2010
In which I return!
Current tunes: Superchick!
Current plans: laze about, get my hurr did, go to bank, evening with Kendra
Current excitement: The fact that the day is ALL MINE.
Heyyyyyy guysss.. Hopefully one or two of you still check this occasionally. Hahaha. There's been some stuff moving and going on in my life. Disappointments and frustrations along with joys and excitements. And a giant side of stress.
I got over the hurdle of my second Economics exam yesterday afternoon, which was a HUGE load off. That exam was overing over me like the angel of death. Bah. It was pretty killer, so we'll see how I do. I did well on my World Lit midterm though, which was an essay and an in-class exam. Got A's on both! That was nice.
Brennan was over yesterday. He's a bit ill, so he was kind of crabby, but extra snuggly! There was a while when he was tired where I just held him and he would just stare at everything around him, and then he'd just nuzzle his chubby little face into my chest. He's getting so big! And his smiles still brighten my life. I loooooooove him. He makes me babycrazy, though, which is probs a bit dangerous at this early stage of my life, lol.
We have had a bit of bad news here at home. We found out this week that my mom has breast cancer. This is an especially low blow considering she only just finished chemotherapy for her colon cancer two months ago. The doctors think that they have caught the cancer early enough, and her prognosis is very good. She will be having a surgery on the 26th to remove the lumps, and then she will have to have some radiation. But if they find out that she has the breast cancer gene (which would mean the cancer would just come back again), she might get a double mastectomy. It's ... I don't know... It's just a real bummer. I wish I could do it all for her, because she's been a real hero this last year already. But her unwavering faith in God is really an inspiration for me!
On a lighter note, prom is just over a week away! We got my date's tux last night.. He'll look... interesting. :D I'm suuuuper excited! There's still a few things I need to have wrapped up, though...
So this song by Superchick, "Alright" describes my feelings exactly a lot of the time. It's a good song to remind yourself that rough times don't last. Hopefully the lyrics will help you feel a little better!
"There's so much on my mind lately I can't make out my own thoughts anymore. I don't know where one begins and the other one ends. I wish that I could push a button and turn it off just for a little while. Long enough to take a breath, and then I know:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
There's so much that needs done lately I can't make out what's important anymore. I don't know where my needs begin and someone else's ends. I don't wanna let anybody down cuz I feel like I'm falling down when I do. But for now would someone else please volunteer to say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
Life is hard for everyone so let's blow it all off just for a little while. Let's take a break, it'll still be there when we get back. I always try to solve all my problems by working real hard, going just another mile. But every now and then I think we should let it all go and say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
This is my last verse, and it's for everyone feeling not so great today. We don't know what's coming just around the bend. It's always hard to believe in your own life, easier to find belief for a friend. So you hope for me, me for you, and together we will say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay."
<3
Current plans: laze about, get my hurr did, go to bank, evening with Kendra
Current excitement: The fact that the day is ALL MINE.
Heyyyyyy guysss.. Hopefully one or two of you still check this occasionally. Hahaha. There's been some stuff moving and going on in my life. Disappointments and frustrations along with joys and excitements. And a giant side of stress.
I got over the hurdle of my second Economics exam yesterday afternoon, which was a HUGE load off. That exam was overing over me like the angel of death. Bah. It was pretty killer, so we'll see how I do. I did well on my World Lit midterm though, which was an essay and an in-class exam. Got A's on both! That was nice.
Brennan was over yesterday. He's a bit ill, so he was kind of crabby, but extra snuggly! There was a while when he was tired where I just held him and he would just stare at everything around him, and then he'd just nuzzle his chubby little face into my chest. He's getting so big! And his smiles still brighten my life. I loooooooove him. He makes me babycrazy, though, which is probs a bit dangerous at this early stage of my life, lol.
We have had a bit of bad news here at home. We found out this week that my mom has breast cancer. This is an especially low blow considering she only just finished chemotherapy for her colon cancer two months ago. The doctors think that they have caught the cancer early enough, and her prognosis is very good. She will be having a surgery on the 26th to remove the lumps, and then she will have to have some radiation. But if they find out that she has the breast cancer gene (which would mean the cancer would just come back again), she might get a double mastectomy. It's ... I don't know... It's just a real bummer. I wish I could do it all for her, because she's been a real hero this last year already. But her unwavering faith in God is really an inspiration for me!
On a lighter note, prom is just over a week away! We got my date's tux last night.. He'll look... interesting. :D I'm suuuuper excited! There's still a few things I need to have wrapped up, though...
So this song by Superchick, "Alright" describes my feelings exactly a lot of the time. It's a good song to remind yourself that rough times don't last. Hopefully the lyrics will help you feel a little better!
"There's so much on my mind lately I can't make out my own thoughts anymore. I don't know where one begins and the other one ends. I wish that I could push a button and turn it off just for a little while. Long enough to take a breath, and then I know:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
There's so much that needs done lately I can't make out what's important anymore. I don't know where my needs begin and someone else's ends. I don't wanna let anybody down cuz I feel like I'm falling down when I do. But for now would someone else please volunteer to say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
Life is hard for everyone so let's blow it all off just for a little while. Let's take a break, it'll still be there when we get back. I always try to solve all my problems by working real hard, going just another mile. But every now and then I think we should let it all go and say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
This is my last verse, and it's for everyone feeling not so great today. We don't know what's coming just around the bend. It's always hard to believe in your own life, easier to find belief for a friend. So you hope for me, me for you, and together we will say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay."
<3
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
In which I am excited about His love
Current Tunes: Snow Patrol
Current Plans: Do some reading for Soc, watch the Office, shower, sleep.
Current excitement: Senior photoshoot tomorrow! My first in awhile. ;)
Hola mis compadres. I've been busy, to say the least. I had a nice weekend- went to MOA wiff ma gurls, and my sister's bridal shower was on Sunday. Sarah, Koby, and I went to EpicLife Church before Bridgewood Sunday morning and it was cool to see everyone who used to go to Bridgewood. I rather miss all of their sweet faces. EpicLife seems like a neat place and I'd like to go back!
Yesterday (Monday) was super busy... class, photoshoot forkicks with Shelby, work, then worship practice till 9:45. I was only home during the day long enough to take a quick shower. But the photoshoot was suuuuper fun! I'm also super joyful that Spring is arrived. I HAVEN'T WORN SOCKS FOR SEVERAL DAYS!! That is a HUUUUUGE deal to me. Also, the swamp in my backyard is alive with billions of chatty frogs and toads. They never stop making noise. It's incredible how much they have to say.
Anyways, so the Holy Spirit's been talking to me recently about His love and mercy. And how tremendous they are. I'm only beginning to comprehend. A song that gets me every. single. time. is the song "How He Loves." The David Crowder Band sings it, and we sing it in church/chapel alla time. Listen toooo ittt... I'm srs. It helps to put His love in perspective... "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us, oh, how He loves us..."
Some verses that I've been really focusing on lately are Romans 5:8 ("But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."), Psalm 65:3 ("when we were overwhelmed by sings, you forgave our transgressions."), and Romans 6:14 ("For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."), as well as my favorite, Hosea 2. All of these verses center on how God loves us DESPITE, IN SPITE OF, IN THE FACE OF our sins. Our dirty secrets, our hidden shames, our painful memories and swallowing guilt. He still loves us. It's one of those things my head knows, but my heart is still trying to figure out. This concept is something that I'm really trying to grasp right now, because I'm commonly deceived by the Deceiver into thinking that my past mistakes make me unloveable by the Uncreated Creator. Although these verses say that God loves us even when we sin, I think He's leading me in the direction that while yes, He loves us even though we're sinners, He loves us too much to let us continue to sin. Because sin separates us from Him! It's a process, it's a developing relationship. I will be the first to admit that I have a heck of a lot to learn. But thankfully, my Teacher is patient, wise, and merciful. And awesome!
Just wanted to share with you where I am right now with God. It's an every day effort, amigos. It's not easy; it's called the Narrow Way for a reason. But He is GOOD. And He's in control, thankfully. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully.
Also, if any of you are like me and are wondering about God's plan & direction for your life, here's an encouraging verse:
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it' " (Isaiah 30:21).
Peace.
<3
:D
Current Plans: Do some reading for Soc, watch the Office, shower, sleep.
Current excitement: Senior photoshoot tomorrow! My first in awhile. ;)
Hola mis compadres. I've been busy, to say the least. I had a nice weekend- went to MOA wiff ma gurls, and my sister's bridal shower was on Sunday. Sarah, Koby, and I went to EpicLife Church before Bridgewood Sunday morning and it was cool to see everyone who used to go to Bridgewood. I rather miss all of their sweet faces. EpicLife seems like a neat place and I'd like to go back!
Yesterday (Monday) was super busy... class, photoshoot forkicks with Shelby, work, then worship practice till 9:45. I was only home during the day long enough to take a quick shower. But the photoshoot was suuuuper fun! I'm also super joyful that Spring is arrived. I HAVEN'T WORN SOCKS FOR SEVERAL DAYS!! That is a HUUUUUGE deal to me. Also, the swamp in my backyard is alive with billions of chatty frogs and toads. They never stop making noise. It's incredible how much they have to say.
Anyways, so the Holy Spirit's been talking to me recently about His love and mercy. And how tremendous they are. I'm only beginning to comprehend. A song that gets me every. single. time. is the song "How He Loves." The David Crowder Band sings it, and we sing it in church/chapel alla time. Listen toooo ittt... I'm srs. It helps to put His love in perspective... "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us, oh, how He loves us..."
Some verses that I've been really focusing on lately are Romans 5:8 ("But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."), Psalm 65:3 ("when we were overwhelmed by sings, you forgave our transgressions."), and Romans 6:14 ("For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."), as well as my favorite, Hosea 2. All of these verses center on how God loves us DESPITE, IN SPITE OF, IN THE FACE OF our sins. Our dirty secrets, our hidden shames, our painful memories and swallowing guilt. He still loves us. It's one of those things my head knows, but my heart is still trying to figure out. This concept is something that I'm really trying to grasp right now, because I'm commonly deceived by the Deceiver into thinking that my past mistakes make me unloveable by the Uncreated Creator. Although these verses say that God loves us even when we sin, I think He's leading me in the direction that while yes, He loves us even though we're sinners, He loves us too much to let us continue to sin. Because sin separates us from Him! It's a process, it's a developing relationship. I will be the first to admit that I have a heck of a lot to learn. But thankfully, my Teacher is patient, wise, and merciful. And awesome!
Just wanted to share with you where I am right now with God. It's an every day effort, amigos. It's not easy; it's called the Narrow Way for a reason. But He is GOOD. And He's in control, thankfully. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully.
Also, if any of you are like me and are wondering about God's plan & direction for your life, here's an encouraging verse:
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it' " (Isaiah 30:21).
Peace.
<3
:D
Sunday, March 21, 2010
In which I am frustrated
Current Tunes: Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Current Excitement: Thrifting on Tues with some fantastic girls.
Current Plans: Movie, reading (Great Expectations by the one and only Charles Dickens... we'll see how that goes...), get ready for school in the morning, sleeeeeep... hopefully.
Baahhhh. Spring break is over!! I hardly did a thing. I swear. Oh well. Just... like two more months of classes then I GRADUATE. Which means summer, which means so much reading, sleeping, playing, hugging, singing, and laughing. And photographing. Bah. So today was a BIT productive... I worked on my FMA application, read the novel for my JapLit class (Silence by Shusaku Endo), tried a new cookie recipe that my dad loved, finished a book that I love (Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks), and practiced guitar. I stayed home from church and felt bad about it, but I really needed that extra hour of silence to help fuel me for the day ahead. I'm in a phase right now where I can't function unless I've had some solid Shonna time. I hope it blows over soon, because when in this phase I tend to be extra irritable and self-critical. And a bit lazy, to be truthful.
I am a little frustrated currently. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm hungry and my room is a mess. And there are a few people that I dearly long to have a conversation with, but there are limitations on many of my relationships. Therefore I keep quiet. I apologize for being vague, my head is a mess ahora. I just didn't have a good night last night. One of my worst lately, in fact. If any of you reading this enjoy being prayer warriors, just pray for me, please. I just need a little faith. I really, really need to clean my room. Maybe tomorrow. I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to start painting my new room over break (my dad neglected his fatherly duties, but he had a stressful week)... but that's fine. I love my current room anyways, so the wait won't be agonizing.
I've overbooked myself this week, I think. I hate that, when I fill every free space with people, promises, and responsibilities. But then again, I've been alone too much lately, and could use a bit of busy productivity and socializing.
Well, just one more week of my FB fast! I'm quite excited to be reconnected. I feel like I have NO idea what's happening in anyone's lives. No one calls or emails anymore. Texting is insufficient. I am out of the loop... which is not fun for a gal like me who loves her friends genuinely.
Okay, imma go gorge myself on fresh baked cookies, lose myself in a film, and gear up for a freaking busy week. I pray God gives me the grace to get through it!
This is what I looked like all day. I'm sitting in my new room, because I like the emptiness. It's where I keep my guitar now.
Read Psalm 139.
Current Excitement: Thrifting on Tues with some fantastic girls.
Current Plans: Movie, reading (Great Expectations by the one and only Charles Dickens... we'll see how that goes...), get ready for school in the morning, sleeeeeep... hopefully.
Baahhhh. Spring break is over!! I hardly did a thing. I swear. Oh well. Just... like two more months of classes then I GRADUATE. Which means summer, which means so much reading, sleeping, playing, hugging, singing, and laughing. And photographing. Bah. So today was a BIT productive... I worked on my FMA application, read the novel for my JapLit class (Silence by Shusaku Endo), tried a new cookie recipe that my dad loved, finished a book that I love (Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks), and practiced guitar. I stayed home from church and felt bad about it, but I really needed that extra hour of silence to help fuel me for the day ahead. I'm in a phase right now where I can't function unless I've had some solid Shonna time. I hope it blows over soon, because when in this phase I tend to be extra irritable and self-critical. And a bit lazy, to be truthful.
I am a little frustrated currently. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm hungry and my room is a mess. And there are a few people that I dearly long to have a conversation with, but there are limitations on many of my relationships. Therefore I keep quiet. I apologize for being vague, my head is a mess ahora. I just didn't have a good night last night. One of my worst lately, in fact. If any of you reading this enjoy being prayer warriors, just pray for me, please. I just need a little faith. I really, really need to clean my room. Maybe tomorrow. I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to start painting my new room over break (my dad neglected his fatherly duties, but he had a stressful week)... but that's fine. I love my current room anyways, so the wait won't be agonizing.
I've overbooked myself this week, I think. I hate that, when I fill every free space with people, promises, and responsibilities. But then again, I've been alone too much lately, and could use a bit of busy productivity and socializing.
Well, just one more week of my FB fast! I'm quite excited to be reconnected. I feel like I have NO idea what's happening in anyone's lives. No one calls or emails anymore. Texting is insufficient. I am out of the loop... which is not fun for a gal like me who loves her friends genuinely.
Okay, imma go gorge myself on fresh baked cookies, lose myself in a film, and gear up for a freaking busy week. I pray God gives me the grace to get through it!
This is what I looked like all day. I'm sitting in my new room, because I like the emptiness. It's where I keep my guitar now.
Read Psalm 139.
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