Current tunes: The Script (got their cd from the library and CANNOT stop playing it.)
Plans for the evening: Reading, reading, and more reading. Maybe watch a film.
Current excitement: Ummmm... errrr... NEXT WEEKEND, woot.
So hey. I know it's been awhile. A weekish? Sorry for that. I can't explain it.
First off, HOLY CRAP, SARAH TURNER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I LOVE YOU TO A MILLION TINY PIECES. Mmm.
My baby is 18 today. Which makes me reflexively nostalgic. I remember daydreaming with her about turning 18, and how fabulous it would be to have so much freedom. We were so different back then. Man. I fell in love with this girl in eighth grade, and she's been by my side ever since. I never thought I was worth a best friend who would stick around, but she proved me wrong. I am a lucky, lucky lady to know and love Sarah Turner. I wish you the best, baby! And someday I will write a song just for you, princess.
So whew, this week has been such a rolleerrrrcoaster. I've been spending a lot of time in my thoughts, which could be either a good or a bad thing, depending what's occupying my mind. There are a lot of things I'd like to change about my life, things I need to work on, things I need to work harder on, and things I need to say goodbye to once and for all. I'm excited to move into my sister's old room in a week or so, because I feel like being in a new environment (ie the basement) will change my perspective. Does that make sense? (She asks the great wide silence).
Today I learned some things about my old youth group, which reminded me why it's my OLD youth group. But boy, do I have a lot of opinions about it. I guess I need a good reminder that not everyone sees things my way. And it's not my place to try and fix something that doesn't even concern me. But I feel really upset about it. I just wish that that youth group could be more like the one I fell in love with the summer after seventh grade, when my life began in earnest. I guess the best I can do is just pray about it, and hope that God takes control of the various situations, relationships, and dynamics. Because in the end, that's what youth group should be about. Not socializing, not controlling young minds, not competing, playing games, or giving them somewhere to be. It needs to be about Jesus Christ, the singular saviour. If you can get to the root of that, to the root of that love, then you're golden, and your petty grudges, power struggles, and minor differences will melt away into the light of His glory. Just stop being unfocused. There are bigger things to worry about than you. [Sarah, I am really, really proud of you.]
This school week will be tough, because I've got a few quizzes and projects due. But as long as I stay on top of things, I'm sure I'll be fine. I just wish I could spend more time with Him. It's so stupid, in light of who He is, but when I get stressed, it always seems that the first thing to go is time with Him. And sometimes I sit before Him, and I feel like I simply can't speak the words that should be spoken. I need some Relient K really bad about now. I'm such a girl.
But God hasn't backed down in His "My Creation is Beautiful" campaign. Have you SEEN the moon tonight?!?!? And the sunsets... glorious. Somehow, driving in that fading sunlight makes me feel like I've got it all under control. But really it's God pulling the strings, for which I'm so, so, SO thankful. I would drown without Him.
My prayer for you tonight comes from Ephesians 4:17b and on, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Okay, I'm off to get a jump start on my homework. Love to you, whoever you are!
<3
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