In which I am excited about His love

Current Tunes: Snow Patrol
Current Plans: Do some reading for Soc, watch the Office, shower, sleep.
Current excitement: Senior photoshoot tomorrow! My first in awhile. ;)

Hola mis compadres. I've been busy, to say the least. I had a nice weekend- went to MOA wiff ma gurls, and my sister's bridal shower was on Sunday. Sarah, Koby, and I went to EpicLife Church before Bridgewood Sunday morning and it was cool to see everyone who used to go to Bridgewood. I rather miss all of their sweet faces. EpicLife seems like a neat place and I'd like to go back!

Yesterday (Monday) was super busy... class, photoshoot forkicks with Shelby, work, then worship practice till 9:45. I was only home during the day long enough to take a quick shower. But the photoshoot was suuuuper fun! I'm also super joyful that Spring is arrived. I HAVEN'T WORN SOCKS FOR SEVERAL DAYS!! That is a HUUUUUGE deal to me. Also, the swamp in my backyard is alive with billions of chatty frogs and toads. They never stop making noise. It's incredible how much they have to say.

Anyways, so the Holy Spirit's been talking to me recently about His love and mercy. And how tremendous they are. I'm only beginning to comprehend. A song that gets me every. single. time. is the song "How He Loves." The David Crowder Band sings it, and we sing it in church/chapel alla time. Listen toooo ittt... I'm srs. It helps to put His love in perspective... "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us, oh, how He loves us..."

Some verses that I've been really focusing on lately are Romans 5:8 ("But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."), Psalm 65:3 ("when we were overwhelmed by sings, you forgave our transgressions."), and Romans 6:14 ("For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."), as well as my favorite, Hosea 2. All of these verses center on how God loves us DESPITE, IN SPITE OF, IN THE FACE OF our sins. Our dirty secrets, our hidden shames, our painful memories and swallowing guilt. He still loves us. It's one of those things my head knows, but my heart is still trying to figure out. This concept is something that I'm really trying to grasp right now, because I'm commonly deceived by the Deceiver into thinking that my past mistakes make me unloveable by the Uncreated Creator. Although these verses say that God loves us even when we sin, I think He's leading me in the direction that while yes, He loves us even though we're sinners, He loves us too much to let us continue to sin. Because sin separates us from Him! It's a process, it's a developing relationship. I will be the first to admit that I have a heck of a lot to learn. But thankfully, my Teacher is patient, wise, and merciful. And awesome!

Just wanted to share with you where I am right now with God. It's an every day effort, amigos. It's not easy; it's called the Narrow Way for a reason. But He is GOOD. And He's in control, thankfully. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully.

Also, if any of you are like me and are wondering about God's plan & direction for your life, here's an encouraging verse:
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it' " (Isaiah 30:21).

Peace.
<3
:D

In which I am frustrated

Current Tunes: Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Current Excitement: Thrifting on Tues with some fantastic girls.
Current Plans: Movie, reading (Great Expectations by the one and only Charles Dickens... we'll see how that goes...), get ready for school in the morning, sleeeeeep... hopefully.

Baahhhh. Spring break is over!! I hardly did a thing. I swear. Oh well. Just... like two more months of classes then I GRADUATE. Which means summer, which means so much reading, sleeping, playing, hugging, singing, and laughing. And photographing. Bah. So today was a BIT productive... I worked on my FMA application, read the novel for my JapLit class (Silence by Shusaku Endo), tried a new cookie recipe that my dad loved, finished a book that I love (Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks), and practiced guitar. I stayed home from church and felt bad about it, but I really needed that extra hour of silence to help fuel me for the day ahead. I'm in a phase right now where I can't function unless I've had some solid Shonna time. I hope it blows over soon, because when in this phase I tend to be extra irritable and self-critical. And a bit lazy, to be truthful.

I am a little frustrated currently. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm hungry and my room is a mess. And there are a few people that I dearly long to have a conversation with, but there are limitations on many of my relationships. Therefore I keep quiet. I apologize for being vague, my head is a mess ahora. I just didn't have a good night last night. One of my worst lately, in fact. If any of you reading this enjoy being prayer warriors, just pray for me, please. I just need a little faith. I really, really need to clean my room. Maybe tomorrow. I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to start painting my new room over break (my dad neglected his fatherly duties, but he had a stressful week)... but that's fine. I love my current room anyways, so the wait won't be agonizing.

I've overbooked myself this week, I think. I hate that, when I fill every free space with people, promises, and responsibilities. But then again, I've been alone too much lately, and could use a bit of busy productivity and socializing.

Well, just one more week of my FB fast! I'm quite excited to be reconnected. I feel like I have NO idea what's happening in anyone's lives. No one calls or emails anymore. Texting is insufficient. I am out of the loop... which is not fun for a gal like me who loves her friends genuinely.

Okay, imma go gorge myself on fresh baked cookies, lose myself in a film, and gear up for a freaking busy week. I pray God gives me the grace to get through it!


This is what I looked like all day. I'm sitting in my new room, because I like the emptiness. It's where I keep my guitar now.

Read Psalm 139.

In which I love Brennan and Bethany

Current Tunes: Handel's Messiah
Current Plans: Talk to Brennan, run some errands, then choir concert!
Current Excitement: I ordered my prom dress yesterday!

Bahhh. So mum's over yonder talking to Brennan. He is over today, and he's a grump! Fussy baby. He screamed at me for nearly half an hour instead of going to sleep. I was grateful for mum to come home and take over his care. So now he's crying to her. Hahaha. But I love him still. Before he became a menace he was quite animated and telling me all about his day. He's such a funny baby. We are listening to Handel's Messiah because it's one of the few things that he'll quiet down enough to listen to. He looooooves music. Also we were watching Hidalgo together for a bit and he enjoyed that. Gotta love Viggo Mortenson.

So I'm on spring break, but it's not very break-y. So far I've worked, went prom dress shopping, babysat, and worked. I have had some spare moments for reading. But not enough time to get errythang done! Some goals I have/had for spring break include(d): painting my new room, cleaning my room, beginning the process of moving some stuff downstairs, practicing guitar, filling out my IHOP application, working on my IHOP audition, finishing all the books/movies currently on loan to me from the library, watch Horatio Hornblower, catching up with/finishing homework, and... I need to buy shampoo. Today. So... Currently I have no plans for tomorrow, so maybe I can make it a somewhat hermit day and get a bunch of stuff done. I work again saturday, and sunday will be church/homework...

I honestly don't feel like I'm on any sort of break. My classes usually just fill in the gaps between my already busy schedule. I guess the biggest bonus is getting to sleep in the past two mornings.

Alrighty. So lately I've been on a serious Bethany Dillon kick. Every song of hers that I listen to just knocks me off of my feet lyrically, musically, vocally, and spiritually. I love the way she talks about God, and to God. Here's a verse from a song I'm digging called "Let Your Light Shine." I think it's off her most recent album, but I'm not sure...
'The Calmer of the Sea here in this room with me
So gently welcoming the weakest things in me.
You are the blood over the door of my heart.
What pain you spared me from, how could I know it all?'

The line about the blood over the door of her heart is a Biblical reference to the feast of the passover. When Moses was trying to convince Pharoh to let the Israelites go, Pharoh's heart was hardened and as a result God sent several plagues over Egypt. One one particular night, God told Moses to have all of his followers paint their doorframes with lamb's blood: a sacrifice. That night, God passed through Egypt and killed the firstborn of every household. If a home had lamb's blood on the door, then he would pass by them and leave them alone. Hence, the Passover. (Exodus 12:1-13).

In the song, Bethany writes that Jesus is the blood over the door of her heart. She's saying that Jesus is the sacrifice, and His blood saves her from death and Hell. So, thanks Jesus, for saving us. I also love this verse for the imagery of God being in the same room with us. The creator of the WORLD, of the UNIVERSE, loves to hang out with US. One on one. AND He loves the weakest things in us.

Well, the whole song is great, just like all her other songs. Soooooo check her out, pals!

Mum's trying to force Brennan to watch 'her soaps' with her. Poor baby. I better go rescue him.

<3

In which I discuss illness and redecorating.

Hola mis compadres. I have confirmed that I have at least three readers, so that's great! How do you guys loooove the new layout? Idk I'm feeling black and white right now. I am SO cool. Anyways.

Current Tunes: Misty Edwards
Current Plans: Well. I should be sleeping. AHORA.
Current Excitement: I have to be honest with you. I've been bitten by the prom bug.

Soooo. Because I recently turned 80, my body is quite accustomed to a schedule. And because my schedule was thrown to the wind this weekend, my body thanked me by getting me reeeaaallyyyy sick. It started with a nasty sore throat which I originally attributed to all the crying and singing, but then it progressed into a nasty headcold and cough. So please pray that I feel better as it is seriously compromising my functionality.

Ummm. What else is new in my life? I've been looking online at bedding for my new room and prom dresses all day. I'm so excited about life right now! Also, I decided I'm going to paint the new room a LOVELY minty green. Like from the seventies. Oh, I have such a vision. The next order of business is to figure out how I'm going to fit three bookshelves in that tiny room. Mum suggested I could maybe put some things in the nook off the family room so I may take her up on that. Bah.

So the illness is going around at work, apparently. Because on Monday and tonight I had to work alone (there are usually two shelvers working). On the one hand, I like working alone because I am MISS INDEPENDENT. But on the other hand, it's really stressful to do clean-up for the whole library, esp. when the media is piling up and those Q books won't stop coming! Lol, library lingo. Anyways. I hope I don't have to work alone on Saturday! I've got the 8-hour shift that day... woohoo? Money, I guess.

Speaking of which, I need to go grocery shopping. But I definitely will NOT be going to Walmart. Remind me to tell you that story sometime.

So tonight, I planned to snuggle in bed and watch the Office... But on a whim I clicked on a link on my Twitter that took me to the video archives of the Student Awakening at IHOP. I haven't watched the live feed much lately, so I tried to catch up by watching some of the testimonies. It was soooo satisfying to hear all these fantastic stories of healings-- both physical and emotional! People are SERIOUSLY being healed from back pain, asthma, cancer (!), arthritis, and all sorts of pain as well as depression, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, anxiety, and sexual addictions. It's so fantastic to hear about. Here's the link to the live feed: http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=100006525 PLEASE watch some testimonies and get ready to have your mind blown by the Holy Spirit!!

I really need to start blogging more, because errythang I have to say never fits in one post alone. I still have so much more to tell you guys!! God is moving in my heart. He's really healing the wounds. I'm so excited about the absolute freedom there is in His love. And you know what's even more awesome? He LOVES to heal us! It's not a burden for Him, or a hassle. He DELIGHTS in restoring us. So you don't have to feel guilty or shameful about asking Him for some help. He wants us to run to Him with our burdens, to lay them at the cross. So take a chance.

Here's the chorus I love from the Relient K song "Forget and Not Slow Down": I'd rather forget and not slow down than gather regret for the things I can't change now. If I become what I can't accept, resurrect the saint from within the wretch. Pour over me and wash my hands of it. 'Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through what I could have done better, but what good do what-ifs do?
It's a reeeeaaalllyyyy great song & album so have a listen. 

That's about it for now, folks. Though I only said a fraction of what I started out to say. Can you believe it? There is SO MUCH stuff in my head. I'll be back sooner than later.

Sweet dreams my darlings.

<3

In which I recount a weekend

Current Tunes: Relient K's "Forget and Not Slow Down" album. I could listen to this a thousand times. And I do.
Plans for the evening: Write a soc paper, relax, talk to Jesus, watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Current Excitement: Skipping class tomorrow to babysit Brennan!

Mother of pearl on a Sunday. I am flushed. Absolutely shattered.

So this weekend was good. No, that's not correct. More like INTENSE and DRAINING. Whew.
I went up to Duluth this weekend for a Catch the Fire conference run by Generation Revival from TCHOP. I stayed with Kaitlin at the UMD dorms (she's a super host, btw), and the church where the conference was at was like 15 blocks away. A short drive. Or 'jaunt,' as they say at the college. Haha. Anyways. I loved driving around Duluth because I feel really comfortable about it because I know my way around quite well. And it gives me practice with city driving/ one way streets.

So the conference was cool. There weren't loads of people there, I guess. Not as many as I thought there'd be. Also I felt awkward because I didn't really know anyone. The worship was fantastic and I liked all of the speakers. There was a lot of food for thought. But I still felt really... I don't know... uncomfortable and out of place. Like I didn't belong there. And my heart was being attacked by the Enemy. So the first night and most of the second day I just kind of observed. I tried to get into it and meet with the Holy Spirit but there was a barrier (isn't there always with me?). So I just read my Psalms and smiled. And cried. I cried a lot. I don't know why. The tears just leaked out. Guh. Hormones much?

Anyways. Saturday night was different. The Holy Spirit fell on that place. I just wanted to stay in His presence forever. It was glorious. Everyone was going crazy for God. Which I loved to see. Anyways. Shonna needs to work on some things. As usual. The road to perfection and holiness is never ending.

Between sessions I got a chance to wander around my favorite city. Photographed some ducks. And got hot chocolate from Caribou. Twice. And I sat on a bench in the glorious weather and read Make Love, Make War by... someone who I forget. The guy who wrote "Come, Now is the Time to Worship." Anyways it's about the worship movement and I'm really excited to read it. Which reminds me I need to get my application/audition stuff done for FMA, like, yesterday. Guhhhh. Obstacles. Also me and the gals + Logan ate at Hell's Kitchen/Burger. I got a corn dog that looked more like a barnacle that I ate half of. And I the next morning I ate brunch at the U and there were CARROTS!

So. I basically read Psalms all weekend. I feel like David and I had a lot of similarities in our emotional ranges. And such.
My favorite from the weekend is Psalm 139. It's a classic; read it now.
Here's an excerpt (v. 7-10):
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

On a sad note, a dear friend of mine lost her mother this past Friday. I pray that God gives them strength and supernatural comfort during this time. I cannot begin to imagine. I'm going to go hug my mother.

<3