Current Tunes: Eye Alaska
Current Plans: movie and ice cream, like the good old days.
Current Excitement: Going home for Christmas on Sunday! Until then: WORK.
Hola gentes.
As of last Friday, I have officially finished my 1st semester out of high school, and my first semester at IHOPU. Is it bad that I refuse to call it college? This.... is not college. When other IHOPU students who have not been to an actual university call this college, I want to shake them and proclaim, "You are incorrect, sir or madam!" Because. This whole semester was a BREAK from life. The 'homework' never took me more than 30 minutes to finish, the quizzes were only challenging if I didn't look over my notes, and the classes were just sermons! But I am told that starting next semester, classes will actually require brain power, so I'm pumped.
Speaking of next semester, HOLY COW, I WILL HAVE LITTLE TO NO TIME TO BREATHE. So I registered for classes and got my schedule a few weeks ago, and every time I look at it now, I get really nervous. The good part: no more 6AMs! Which, I will kind of miss. But my days won't start earlier than eight, which means back to my normal sleep schedule! No more going to bed between 8:30-9. So yeah, I've got PR hours (24ish a week), keys class, choir, prophetic singing, music theory class, theology class, practicum, chapel, church, and some other stuff I'm probs forgetting. On top of all of that, I have to somehow fit in 12-16 hours of work a week... So I'll be swamped. I'm talking back-to-back activities, no breaks, for like 12 hours a day. At least I'll have free weekends, from what I can tell. So.
In a few days, I'll be back on that familiar road home. I. Can't. Wait. Fireplace, friends, cake, mommy&daddy, BABY, my disorganized room (aka reading cave), etc. And Christmas! Which is forever my favorite holiday. I'm kind of terrified for the drive, though, because snow+me+my car= disaster waiting to happen. Not kidding. Not only is my car horribly unreliable and unsafe, but I, for some reason, never got the Driving in the Snow gene, and am ever fearful of losing control of my vehicle. Which I did once, and it was the scariest and slowest thirty seconds of my whole life. BOO SNOW. I'm moving to Cali. Or Italy. What would it be like to live somewhere where it NEVER snowed?? I can't even imagine. The inhabitants of those places have no idea how lucky they are. Granted, they probs have other problems like hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, volcanoes, etc. Well boo on nature then. BOOOO trying to kill us all. THE POINT IS. I am going home.
And for those of you curious, my home-going schedule is as follows: Drive home Dec 19th, drive back to KC the 28th for onething, drive back to MN the 1st or 2nd, hang out hang out, then drive back to KC on the 16th to start my new semester the 17th!
Most of the above ^^ was for the benefit of my mother, who I'm sure is wondering why I haven't called in awhile. Well, mum, there's all you needa know.
Okay, so if you know me, you know that sometimes I get lost in my brainthoughts and follow a bunny trail as far as I can. The bunny trail I've been on lately is-- gear up for it-- homosexuality. I won't go into it just yet, because ... I just won't. I do, however, want to talk about some brainthoughts I have acquired whilst doing all my research and reading lately.
TRUTH. Is the keyword here. What is truth? Who defines truth? Is truth relative, subject to change, or subject to our emotions?
As a Christian, y'all know what I believe: Jesus is the [one] WAY, the [one] TRUTH, and the [one] LIFE. So basically, I believe what He says, goes, and errythang else either lines up with Him and is also true, or conflicts with Him and is therefore untrue. Furthermore, I believe the BIBLE is the living, breathing Word of God, and I believe that JESUS is also the Word of God. I believe Jesus is the Word made flesh. So by the transitive property, I believe that the BIBLE is also the ultimate TRUTH.
I have been told recently by a few sources that the Bible, being written by mere humans, is subject to interpretation and can be interpreted many different ways. This is partially true ( I believe that the Bible was written by GOD through human beings, but that's not the direction I care to go right now), however, some of the people I received this ambiguous claim from were the very same who were not simply 'interpreting' but rather 'editing' the WORD. And I'm not sure that interpretation= twisting, changing, or editing God's WORD. In order to correctly interpret the WORD (aka the TRUTH), one must have a) a foundational theological understanding of the nature and enduring character of God, b) access to different versions of the Bible, as well as a word-for-word straight from the Greek interpretation (here's a helpful site for this) and c) the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God is the one who guides us into truth. He's kind of like our conscience in that way. RE letter a of this list, what I mean to say is that if you don't understand that the God of the Old Testament is the SAME, EXACT, UNCHANGED, and UNCOMPROMISED God/Jesus of the New Testament, you might have a tendency to disregard the Laws and 'stories' of the OT because of legalism, fear, ignorance, etc. However, I recently dug my heels deep into the first five books of the Bible, and aside from having like, a million questions that need answers, I realized that it is a VERY good thing that we are covered by the blood of Christ, otherwise we would all be smited, right now. And that God, that same God who killed Aaron's sons simply for starting the wrong kind of fire in the temple (ask me for the reference if you need it, I'd have to go get my Bible), is the same God that I still worship today. Crazy, right? The one thing that's changed between the early tribes of Israel and us is that WE'VE been redeemed (granted, they too have been redeemed in retrospect, but still).
I'm getting a bit off topic, and that's to be expected when you're as deep in the mire as I have been lately, however. What I mean to say is that just because we desperately want to believe that "God wouldn't do this" or "God would never do that" doesn't make it true. Yes, God is a God of love and forgiveness, however, I don't believe He's a God of tolerance or blind acceptance! SIN and DARKNESS cannot stand in His presence. It is His very nature to DESTROY the things that insult His extreme righteousness. Think about that for a minute. That's the God you worship. Now, I don't mean to be all doom and gloom about God. I mean, He's a good guy and I'm rather fond of Him. I just think the Church and society in general needs a reality check and a right view of who God is, and why it's so important we strive to live holy. Furthermore, it's NOT up to US to decide what's a sin and what's not. Sin is, by nature, fun, pleasurable, easy, and addicting. So we may try to push the boundaries and say, "Well, I'm not hurting anyone else, so this can't possibly be a sin." PEOPLE. READ THE OLD TESTAMENT, I DARE YOU. Find out the kind of seemingly petty things that people died for, then try to justify your sin before God. It ain't gonna happen.
To tie this up, please understand that there is a GOOD part to this story of smiting and holiness: JESUS CHRIST. Because of Him, we get second, third, and fifty thousandth chances to make ourselves right. We have the grace and the RIGHT to stand before the throne of God with BOLDNESS, because we've been adopted into His family!!!
Speaking of adoption, I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but the button to the right ---> is a picture of my soon-to-be nephew waiting for us in Eastern Europe. If you can find it in your heart (and wallet) to donate to the cause of BRINGING HIM HOME, please click on the button to find out how. Please. At any rate, please pray that the process goes off smoothly. Find out more on my sister's blog.
Okay, that was plenty for tonight. If you made it through all of that, congratulations! I would high five you, but I'm in bed. So. Please, please, talk to me if you have questions, comments, concerns, arguments, or love to share.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
In which I recount
Current Tunes: Barlow Girl "Home For Christmas" ;D
Current Plans: watch Boy Meets World, rrrread, SLEEP!
Current Excitement: 20 days till I'm home again!
Hola ustedes!
So last time I blogged, I was prepping to go to California!
Well. That happened. Threeish weeks ago by now, although it seems like it was just yesterday. Man, going to California was definitely a highlight of my life. Not only did I grow a lot closer to my IHOPU brothers and sisters, I also made some pretty neat new siblings out at Biola! I <3 Biola.
What was Jesus up to in LA?
Wellllll. Lotsa stuff. ;D I was with a group of about 40 students/leaders from IHOPU who were distributed in Brea, California, which is in northern Orange County. We stayed with peeps from this prayer house called the Firehouse [ http://www.firehouseofprayer.org/ ]. They were gracious, wonderful hosts, and we all got along capitally! I was lucky enough to be housed in a home that was being housesat by one of the directors at the Firehouse, so seven of us girls got the run of the place with Anita as our mama! Our home was homebase for the Brea group so there was always something going on! We were blessed to experience Firehouse-style prayer meetings and prophetic moments.
We also partnered with Revive ministry [ facebook page here ] a ministry on Biola's (Bible Institute of Las Angeles, if you haven't heard of it) campus. Basically we just creeped about and offered prayer and encouragement to our brothers and sisters. We also joined the Revive leadership team in crying out for revival on Biola's campus. It was awesome, and I heard lots of great testimonies of healings and fire-stirrings from the two days we were on campus.
The week ended at the Fight conference and the first-ever StudentCall at the Glory Church in LA. It was an intense few days of prayer, intercession, worship, and teachings from some of the most passionate intercessors and missionaries of our time.
Another highlight of the trip was the Revival Tour-- aka 250 IHOPU students and leaders being herded around LA like cattle to various points of historic value from the Jesus People Movement of the 60's and 70's. Lou Engle was our tourguide, and he had many insightful and provoking anecdotes and stories about the past revival. This day also included looooots of prayer. It ended at the Azusa St Plaza, which was dreamy. Revival broke out at that very location in the early 1900's...1906? I believe. All kindsa crazy stuff happened at that time, so it was surreal to be back 100 years later, praying for the Spirit to be poured out over SoCal. So. Much. Of the BOMB.
After a 40 hour bus ride back to KC (I don't wanna talk about it...), I slept for 6 hours, woke up and unpacked, and then went back to bed. Then we had just a few days of classes and were off for Thanksgiving break! How thrilling! But first! A visit from my bestest pallies, Kendrason and Wilson! Will was a surprise, but most welcome. What followed: Applebee's, IHOP, sleep, Waffle House, the Plaza, nap, church, sleep, Waffle House, PR, Higher Grounds, and then they left me. :( But it was okay! I worked a few days and then drove back to MN myself!
So then it was Thanksgiving break. I did some cool stuff. Like skidded around on a snowy Co Rd J. Visited with Marissa! Had some mashed potatoes and pickles for Thanksgiving dinner with the WHOLE fam (including the CUTEST nephew that I currently have). Watched Will nap on my couch while I gleefully hacked his FB. Hung out with Kendra, Will, and Jeremy, and had a new experience ;). Saw some high school pallies, and ate McDonald's with my soulmate. And saw Harry Potter 7pt1 in IMAX at 11:40 the night before I drove home. Why, you ask? Well. I don't know. I still don't. ;P
Now I am back.
I would like to leave you with some genious revelation, some life lesson, or at the very least some Bible verses or clever song lyrics. But at this point, all I can say is:
"The Girl" by City and Colour.
Look for more in the future. ;D
Yes, I did use excessive emoticons in this post. So sue me. ;P
<3
Current Plans: watch Boy Meets World, rrrread, SLEEP!
Current Excitement: 20 days till I'm home again!
Hola ustedes!
So last time I blogged, I was prepping to go to California!
Well. That happened. Threeish weeks ago by now, although it seems like it was just yesterday. Man, going to California was definitely a highlight of my life. Not only did I grow a lot closer to my IHOPU brothers and sisters, I also made some pretty neat new siblings out at Biola! I <3 Biola.
What was Jesus up to in LA?
Wellllll. Lotsa stuff. ;D I was with a group of about 40 students/leaders from IHOPU who were distributed in Brea, California, which is in northern Orange County. We stayed with peeps from this prayer house called the Firehouse [ http://www.firehouseofprayer.org/ ]. They were gracious, wonderful hosts, and we all got along capitally! I was lucky enough to be housed in a home that was being housesat by one of the directors at the Firehouse, so seven of us girls got the run of the place with Anita as our mama! Our home was homebase for the Brea group so there was always something going on! We were blessed to experience Firehouse-style prayer meetings and prophetic moments.
We also partnered with Revive ministry [ facebook page here ] a ministry on Biola's (Bible Institute of Las Angeles, if you haven't heard of it) campus. Basically we just creeped about and offered prayer and encouragement to our brothers and sisters. We also joined the Revive leadership team in crying out for revival on Biola's campus. It was awesome, and I heard lots of great testimonies of healings and fire-stirrings from the two days we were on campus.
The week ended at the Fight conference and the first-ever StudentCall at the Glory Church in LA. It was an intense few days of prayer, intercession, worship, and teachings from some of the most passionate intercessors and missionaries of our time.
Another highlight of the trip was the Revival Tour-- aka 250 IHOPU students and leaders being herded around LA like cattle to various points of historic value from the Jesus People Movement of the 60's and 70's. Lou Engle was our tourguide, and he had many insightful and provoking anecdotes and stories about the past revival. This day also included looooots of prayer. It ended at the Azusa St Plaza, which was dreamy. Revival broke out at that very location in the early 1900's...1906? I believe. All kindsa crazy stuff happened at that time, so it was surreal to be back 100 years later, praying for the Spirit to be poured out over SoCal. So. Much. Of the BOMB.
After a 40 hour bus ride back to KC (I don't wanna talk about it...), I slept for 6 hours, woke up and unpacked, and then went back to bed. Then we had just a few days of classes and were off for Thanksgiving break! How thrilling! But first! A visit from my bestest pallies, Kendrason and Wilson! Will was a surprise, but most welcome. What followed: Applebee's, IHOP, sleep, Waffle House, the Plaza, nap, church, sleep, Waffle House, PR, Higher Grounds, and then they left me. :( But it was okay! I worked a few days and then drove back to MN myself!
So then it was Thanksgiving break. I did some cool stuff. Like skidded around on a snowy Co Rd J. Visited with Marissa! Had some mashed potatoes and pickles for Thanksgiving dinner with the WHOLE fam (including the CUTEST nephew that I currently have). Watched Will nap on my couch while I gleefully hacked his FB. Hung out with Kendra, Will, and Jeremy, and had a new experience ;). Saw some high school pallies, and ate McDonald's with my soulmate. And saw Harry Potter 7pt1 in IMAX at 11:40 the night before I drove home. Why, you ask? Well. I don't know. I still don't. ;P
Now I am back.
I would like to leave you with some genious revelation, some life lesson, or at the very least some Bible verses or clever song lyrics. But at this point, all I can say is:
"The Girl" by City and Colour.
Look for more in the future. ;D
Yes, I did use excessive emoticons in this post. So sue me. ;P
<3
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
In which I am still alive.
Current Tunes: The chatter and prayer of fellow IHOPers in Higher Grounds.
Current Plans: Go home, nap, go to D-group, go to work, pack, shower, sleep, go to CA.
Current Excitement: CALIFORNIA!
Hey all. So clearly, I survived the the illness that knocked me out. On the plus side, I got to stay in my room and not talk to anyone for five days. On the down side, I had to stay in my room and not talk to anyone for five days. But I am all better! For the first time since moving here, I think. And I intend to stay healthy! As much as I can. Gotta eat like... fruit or something.
Anyways. So as you may or may not have heard, I'm headed to SoCal tomorrow morning! It's exciting. It'll be like a 30+ hour bus ride. In those nice coach buses. 300+ IHOPU students will be strategically placed at universities throughout Southern California. So I'm not exactly sure where I'll be yet. BUT! I do know that on Nov. 11th, we'll all be converging on LA to support the Fight Conference and get people reeeaallyyyy stirred up for revival. I'm super excited because of prophetic words that have been spoken for a coming revival, as well as just to BE in CA for the first time in my life and be able to share all this love that I've been receiving for the past few months.
So I'll be getting back the 15th of November. Then I'll have a few days of classes, and then it's Thanksgiving 'break.' My BFF KennyLendra will be visiting ME for the first time, and we'll shop and sing and hug and have a gay olde time. Then I'll work work work and then get my bum on home for some eats. And then it's back to KCMO for a few more weeks, and then CHRISTMAS. And then ONETHING. And then... January! Woot. Time skipping stones.
In my spirit, Jesus has really been giving me a lot of revelations in the past two weeks about how He sees me. Much of this was supplemented by a study we did on Song of Solomon in class. Before hearing Shelley and Allen teach on it, I was majorly skeptical about this book, what it meant, and what God intended it to mean. But the Holy Spirit softened my heart towards it and opened my eyes to all the different interpretations and meanings. And what I found there was in-credible. I encourage you all to download Mike Bickle's notes on Song of Songs from mikebickle.org or get some other commentary on it. It's really eye opening, the way that God feels about us.
Also He's been engaging my mind with some Deep Theological Issues. About who He is, what the Bible is and what it means, etc, etc. Stuff I'd like to divulge on eventually, but not currently. I've been in some situations recently that really caused me to think about GOD. Like, why He created us, how He's involved in our lives, what He expects from us, and what it is to be holy. And how holy, how like Him can we become? It's great. I just like to think about Him. And I'm realizing that much of Christianity is missing the point.
In Romans 1 & 2, Paul talks about God's righteous judgment against sin and sinful people. And he has a pretty harsh description of evil people: greedy, envious, murdering, slandering, wicked, depraved, etc, etc. And our first reaction, of course, would be to say "That's not me; I'm certainly not THAT bad. I'm not a murderer or a slanderer. I try not to gossip and I don't steal...." But then at the beginning of Chapter 2, he says "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things" (NIV). Whoa. We KNOW, because Jesus said, that if we even feel angry towards one another, we have murdered each other in our hearts. So we can't assume that we are perfect simply because we wouldn't describe ourselves so harshly. Maybe, just maybe, someone else WOULD. Maybe, from the perspective of the Most Holy, we ARE tarnished and sullied.
He goes on to talk about the law for several chapters, and much of his conversation is expounded on in Galations. Basically, my heart is just sorrowed for those in the Church who think they are saved simply because they go to church, repeat the prayers and hum the hymns. Church! The Bible, the living, breathing, WORD OF GOD says we are not saved unless we are right with God!! Even if we do not follow the Law, we are still saved if our hearts are right with Jesus. However, if we were somehow Holy Superheroes and followed the Law to the letter and never sinned, but yet still had no relationship with Him in our hearts, we would STILL go to Hell. Do you see what God thinks is the most important??
There's just been so much resting on my heart lately about this, and I'd love a soapbox and an audience of my loved ones to share it with. I have loads of Scriptures to support the above argument, but I'm without my Bible at the moment to quote verses at you. However, if you must be immediately satiated, check out Romans 1 & 2 as well as the book of Galations 3 to start with.
Please pray for me and my friends while we're in CA! See you on the other side. :D
<3
Current Plans: Go home, nap, go to D-group, go to work, pack, shower, sleep, go to CA.
Current Excitement: CALIFORNIA!
Hey all. So clearly, I survived the the illness that knocked me out. On the plus side, I got to stay in my room and not talk to anyone for five days. On the down side, I had to stay in my room and not talk to anyone for five days. But I am all better! For the first time since moving here, I think. And I intend to stay healthy! As much as I can. Gotta eat like... fruit or something.
Anyways. So as you may or may not have heard, I'm headed to SoCal tomorrow morning! It's exciting. It'll be like a 30+ hour bus ride. In those nice coach buses. 300+ IHOPU students will be strategically placed at universities throughout Southern California. So I'm not exactly sure where I'll be yet. BUT! I do know that on Nov. 11th, we'll all be converging on LA to support the Fight Conference and get people reeeaallyyyy stirred up for revival. I'm super excited because of prophetic words that have been spoken for a coming revival, as well as just to BE in CA for the first time in my life and be able to share all this love that I've been receiving for the past few months.
So I'll be getting back the 15th of November. Then I'll have a few days of classes, and then it's Thanksgiving 'break.' My BFF KennyLendra will be visiting ME for the first time, and we'll shop and sing and hug and have a gay olde time. Then I'll work work work and then get my bum on home for some eats. And then it's back to KCMO for a few more weeks, and then CHRISTMAS. And then ONETHING. And then... January! Woot. Time skipping stones.
In my spirit, Jesus has really been giving me a lot of revelations in the past two weeks about how He sees me. Much of this was supplemented by a study we did on Song of Solomon in class. Before hearing Shelley and Allen teach on it, I was majorly skeptical about this book, what it meant, and what God intended it to mean. But the Holy Spirit softened my heart towards it and opened my eyes to all the different interpretations and meanings. And what I found there was in-credible. I encourage you all to download Mike Bickle's notes on Song of Songs from mikebickle.org or get some other commentary on it. It's really eye opening, the way that God feels about us.
Also He's been engaging my mind with some Deep Theological Issues. About who He is, what the Bible is and what it means, etc, etc. Stuff I'd like to divulge on eventually, but not currently. I've been in some situations recently that really caused me to think about GOD. Like, why He created us, how He's involved in our lives, what He expects from us, and what it is to be holy. And how holy, how like Him can we become? It's great. I just like to think about Him. And I'm realizing that much of Christianity is missing the point.
In Romans 1 & 2, Paul talks about God's righteous judgment against sin and sinful people. And he has a pretty harsh description of evil people: greedy, envious, murdering, slandering, wicked, depraved, etc, etc. And our first reaction, of course, would be to say "That's not me; I'm certainly not THAT bad. I'm not a murderer or a slanderer. I try not to gossip and I don't steal...." But then at the beginning of Chapter 2, he says "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things" (NIV). Whoa. We KNOW, because Jesus said, that if we even feel angry towards one another, we have murdered each other in our hearts. So we can't assume that we are perfect simply because we wouldn't describe ourselves so harshly. Maybe, just maybe, someone else WOULD. Maybe, from the perspective of the Most Holy, we ARE tarnished and sullied.
He goes on to talk about the law for several chapters, and much of his conversation is expounded on in Galations. Basically, my heart is just sorrowed for those in the Church who think they are saved simply because they go to church, repeat the prayers and hum the hymns. Church! The Bible, the living, breathing, WORD OF GOD says we are not saved unless we are right with God!! Even if we do not follow the Law, we are still saved if our hearts are right with Jesus. However, if we were somehow Holy Superheroes and followed the Law to the letter and never sinned, but yet still had no relationship with Him in our hearts, we would STILL go to Hell. Do you see what God thinks is the most important??
There's just been so much resting on my heart lately about this, and I'd love a soapbox and an audience of my loved ones to share it with. I have loads of Scriptures to support the above argument, but I'm without my Bible at the moment to quote verses at you. However, if you must be immediately satiated, check out Romans 1 & 2 as well as the book of Galations 3 to start with.
Please pray for me and my friends while we're in CA! See you on the other side. :D
<3
Thursday, October 21, 2010
In which I am really sick.
Current Tunes: Ejah and Sofi chattering away. :D
Current Excitement: ....maybe getting down some applesauce soon!
Current Plans: Lay in bed, watch Return of the King, edit some photos, read, nap, be really sick.
Bahhh. So. When I moved to MO, I was sick for eight weeks. Then, miraculously, I felt normal for almost two full weeks!
BUT THEN, yesterday I woke up and felt. like. death. Oh my goodness. I went to the PR and sat there for 30 minutes. But then I sneezed and decided to go back home and sleeeep. So I did. I woke up and went to class @ 10, and managed to stay alive for that. I couldn't really engage in the ministry time though... D: Anyways, I tried to go to my small group but my small group leader took one look at me and made me go home. I did, and I also called work and told them I wouldn't be coming in. I HATE calling in sick (esp when it's only my second week working there!!), but I was feeling so bad that every movement hurt. I figured I had strep or mono again. My throat hurt, but compared to everything else that was the least of the pain... I had body aches, a severe headache, ear pain, lethargy, and a general feeling of 'I am going to die right now.' So I napped a little off and on for a few hours. Then I tried to eat but couldn't get very much down... I watched Two Towers and tried to stay very still so my body wouldn't blow up. I called a clinic and she said I could go to Urgent Care that evening... So at five thirty I called them and made an appointment for 7:30. I got there at 7:30, in incredible pain. And didn't get called in until... 9:30! Yeah, it sucked. I cried.
My temperature turned out to be 102.3. I tested negative for strep, but doc said it was just too early to tell. He seemed really surprised by all of my symptoms and the fact that I had recently been sick for 8 weeks. He talked to himself for about 5 minutes about what drugs he should give me. He even suggested to himself that he give me narcotics! I was like, that would be AWESOME. Lol, but no. Just some antibiotic that he stressed 'tastes like metal.' Anyways, I don't know how I'll actually get them. I feel in no state to go to Walgreens right now. D: I haven't showered and I really don't feel like putting clothes or make-up on. Gahross. Maybe I'll feel more up to it in couple hours. I still have to call work later and tell them I won't be working this weekend, but I hope I'll feel better on Monday. I haaaate missing work. I don't want them to think I'm a flake. I need to take some painkillers, but I drank some water this morning and it felt like pins and needles all down my throat... so we'll see how THAT goes. BAH. Being sick is the pits, esp at IHOP where stuff never stops and it is 'unpleasant' to miss things.
Okay. Enough boring stuff about how miserable I am.
Let's talk about my VISIT HOME TO MN!
It was ... THE BOMB. Seriously I had such a good time. Every moment was precious to me. I kept reminding myself that I was home, home, home, where things make sense and I have a grip on reality! Anyways. I got home around 1:30 AM Friday. Slept for a bit... Then I went to Chapel at Bethel and had a TRUE BETHEL lunch with my soulmate, Matteo. I looove him. He showed me his dorm and it was really cool! Then I went home I think. And saw BRENNAN, Because he's the very best. Then I had Panera with Denika, which was tender. She is my favorite, and I love her, and I love her, and I love her. Afterwards I kidnapped William (not really though) and we did some photographing downtown and I tried my very first tea! So that was cool. On Saturday, I got some true quality Korsmoe...Zech....Meyer family time! We went to two apple orchards (heaven!) and had lunch at Famous Dave's. It was hilarious how full we all were afterwards. I loooove my people, I really do. Especially the smallest one, because he is funny. Anyways. In the evening time Will and I crammed a lot of super cool activities into the hours we had. I had my first Noodles & Co!! I had the mac and cheese (don't judge) and it was FANTASTIC. I'm already dreaming about going there again. And again. All in all it was a grrreat day. Sunday I saw my BFF Kendra (who I wish I had had more time with!!), we went to church, and I had my favorite lunch with my familia! Then I was off, back to KC with mixed emotions. Nobody ever said how hard this independence thing really is... D: But there was a gorgeous sunset over Des Moines that evening! I may or may not have photographed it whilst driving.
I've gotta type up a quick assignment for Practicum, maybe take a shower/eat food, and then it's back to lazing about and praying that Jesus makes me all better quickly.
'slata gatas.
Current Excitement: ....maybe getting down some applesauce soon!
Current Plans: Lay in bed, watch Return of the King, edit some photos, read, nap, be really sick.
Bahhh. So. When I moved to MO, I was sick for eight weeks. Then, miraculously, I felt normal for almost two full weeks!
BUT THEN, yesterday I woke up and felt. like. death. Oh my goodness. I went to the PR and sat there for 30 minutes. But then I sneezed and decided to go back home and sleeeep. So I did. I woke up and went to class @ 10, and managed to stay alive for that. I couldn't really engage in the ministry time though... D: Anyways, I tried to go to my small group but my small group leader took one look at me and made me go home. I did, and I also called work and told them I wouldn't be coming in. I HATE calling in sick (esp when it's only my second week working there!!), but I was feeling so bad that every movement hurt. I figured I had strep or mono again. My throat hurt, but compared to everything else that was the least of the pain... I had body aches, a severe headache, ear pain, lethargy, and a general feeling of 'I am going to die right now.' So I napped a little off and on for a few hours. Then I tried to eat but couldn't get very much down... I watched Two Towers and tried to stay very still so my body wouldn't blow up. I called a clinic and she said I could go to Urgent Care that evening... So at five thirty I called them and made an appointment for 7:30. I got there at 7:30, in incredible pain. And didn't get called in until... 9:30! Yeah, it sucked. I cried.
My temperature turned out to be 102.3. I tested negative for strep, but doc said it was just too early to tell. He seemed really surprised by all of my symptoms and the fact that I had recently been sick for 8 weeks. He talked to himself for about 5 minutes about what drugs he should give me. He even suggested to himself that he give me narcotics! I was like, that would be AWESOME. Lol, but no. Just some antibiotic that he stressed 'tastes like metal.' Anyways, I don't know how I'll actually get them. I feel in no state to go to Walgreens right now. D: I haven't showered and I really don't feel like putting clothes or make-up on. Gahross. Maybe I'll feel more up to it in couple hours. I still have to call work later and tell them I won't be working this weekend, but I hope I'll feel better on Monday. I haaaate missing work. I don't want them to think I'm a flake. I need to take some painkillers, but I drank some water this morning and it felt like pins and needles all down my throat... so we'll see how THAT goes. BAH. Being sick is the pits, esp at IHOP where stuff never stops and it is 'unpleasant' to miss things.
Okay. Enough boring stuff about how miserable I am.
Let's talk about my VISIT HOME TO MN!
It was ... THE BOMB. Seriously I had such a good time. Every moment was precious to me. I kept reminding myself that I was home, home, home, where things make sense and I have a grip on reality! Anyways. I got home around 1:30 AM Friday. Slept for a bit... Then I went to Chapel at Bethel and had a TRUE BETHEL lunch with my soulmate, Matteo. I looove him. He showed me his dorm and it was really cool! Then I went home I think. And saw BRENNAN, Because he's the very best. Then I had Panera with Denika, which was tender. She is my favorite, and I love her, and I love her, and I love her. Afterwards I kidnapped William (not really though) and we did some photographing downtown and I tried my very first tea! So that was cool. On Saturday, I got some true quality Korsmoe...Zech....Meyer family time! We went to two apple orchards (heaven!) and had lunch at Famous Dave's. It was hilarious how full we all were afterwards. I loooove my people, I really do. Especially the smallest one, because he is funny. Anyways. In the evening time Will and I crammed a lot of super cool activities into the hours we had. I had my first Noodles & Co!! I had the mac and cheese (don't judge) and it was FANTASTIC. I'm already dreaming about going there again. And again. All in all it was a grrreat day. Sunday I saw my BFF Kendra (who I wish I had had more time with!!), we went to church, and I had my favorite lunch with my familia! Then I was off, back to KC with mixed emotions. Nobody ever said how hard this independence thing really is... D: But there was a gorgeous sunset over Des Moines that evening! I may or may not have photographed it whilst driving.
I've gotta type up a quick assignment for Practicum, maybe take a shower/eat food, and then it's back to lazing about and praying that Jesus makes me all better quickly.
'slata gatas.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
In which I describe a new job and a visit
Current Tunes: Josh Garrels
Current Plans: pack, PR, DRIVE HOME
Current Excitement: A Minnesotan weekend.
Hello friends!
Well I've been real busy lately!
I got a job at a local public library and I started on Monday and worked again yesterday evening. It looks like it'll be pretty much the same as my last job! Not a ton of hours and therefore not a ton of money, but it's SOMETHING and that's a start. I still want to have time to sleep and eat and breathe and pray, so a few hours was all I really wanted. This library is A LOT different from my last library and a lot smaller, but all the employees are really nice and I'm catching on to their [weird] system pretty quickly. I'll be working about three times a week from now on.
My aunt, sister, and nephew visited last weekend, and it was THE BOMB. I had such a good time with them! We went downtown to this shopping district called the Plaza, and I was in HEAVEN. The Forever 21 had me delirious. My beautiful aunt was kind enough to support my shopping habit and buy me lots and lots of cool clothes. We ate at Panera and then went home for some rest. I also took them to the Awakening so that was cool. I'm glad they got a chance to at least check it out before the meetings went on hiatus. The next day we went to IHOP (pancakes) and had a good meal. Brennan was really cute and I looooooved getting to know him again. He's like the biggest hole in my heart whilst I am in KC, true story.
I am soooo blessed to be learning beneath ah-mazing instructors who leave room for the Holy Spirit and really care about their students. Today I had a class with Shelley Hundley (who, by the way, shares my birthday! I got a chance to tell her and we hugged! It was a special moment. I want to be her when I grow up!!). We were talking about 4 different ways to pray in the Spirit and she told us two AMAZING testimonies of when the Holy Spirit released a language in her life. Once was in Brazil? I think, when she was supposed to preach but there was no translator to translate her Spanish into Portuguese. So she preached anyways, and EVERYONE in the room, both Spanish speaking and Portuguese speaking, understood her COMPLETELY. She told us how the Holy Spirit moved in that place that night. Her other testimony was a long story about how God gave her the gift of Italian, pretty much. She can now read it, speak it, write it, and understand it. Isn't that incredible? She never took any classes or anything. She just needed it to serve someone, she had faith, and went after it! So we had a short ministry time in class where we prayed for an increase in understanding of different languages to serve in other nations. It was incredible! I felt the Lord burning the Spanish language on my heart. I long to become more fluent (or have any degree of fluency, really) in la lengua de mi corazon. My desire is to be able to write songs in Spanish to bring with me to Latin America! Wooowww exciting.
Hmm, what else?
I'm going to MN! Tonight! The weekend's free [for the first time in 3 months], so I thought, "hey, I'm getting the heck outta here" I'm sooo excited!! I have plans with my dearest friends and with my fabulous family! Apple orchard! And I think my mom mentioned cake! Sooooo excited. Bah! I really should finish packing, because I've got PR time in an hour.
Okay, so that was just a little update on my life here in KC. It's going well, I'm happy I'm here, and I love Jesus!
<3
Friday, October 1, 2010
In which I don't really say anything at all.
Current Tunes: Justin Rizzo and his amazing team at the Awakening!
Current Plans: Um, Awakening, photoediting.
Current Excitement: It's the weekend...?
So it's been awhile. Sure. Stuff has happened, I guess.
I'm putting down roots here at IHOP more and more with each passing day. It's hard to blog about what's been happening here, because a) my brain is still processing all the changes and b) there's alot. of it. Basically every aspect of my life and personality is taking a Holy Spirit beating. Which is a good thing, although it sounds kind of not.
I still miss home and my MN people, but it's so clear that God wants me here in this season that the homesickness is manageable. I'm falling in love with IHOPU and its students. Oh jeese, my classmates are incredible. So loving, encouraging, friendly, and convicted for Christ! And the teachers do nothing but provoke me to love Christ deeper and deeper. And the Holy Spirit is all over this place. It's crazy.
Okay. Since I don't really know what to talk about, I'mma just do this up list-style. All numerical and stuff.
1) In early November IHOPU is going to Southern California on an outreach/missions trip. LA, here I come! And the best part? Jesus already provided the funds for the trip! I don't have to pay a dime. Yeah, you could say it's a coincidence... OR you could admit that it's miraculous that I asked Jesus for money and in a matter of days He gave me the money I asked for and then some.
2) Speaking of financial miracles... On Tuesday in class, Wes Hall felt the Holy Spirit wanted to give people financial breakthroughs. So we stopped class and began praying for one another for finances. Wes said that God was going to release muchos finances in the next 24 hours. The next day in class, he asked people with financial testimonies to come up and share. A bunch of people, like 10-15 came up and shared stories of how people had randomly handed them checks, how they found money, etc, etc. Someone totaled up all the money received, and not including money on its way in the mail, there was over $20,000 received. Miraculously, NOT coincidentally. GOD PROVIDES, period.
3) My birthday is soon, just saying.
4) I got a job! At Red Bridge library! Minimum wage and no more than 16 hours a week! It'll be perfect to keep me in food and gas!
5) On Saturday night, I decided that I felt like being in MN. So... at midnight I left and drove home! I got home at 7amish, slept for four hours, ate lunch, went to see MY BABY... went to Bethel, then went downtown and saw Kendra's dorm and had MESA. OMG. Then I slept from 10:30-6:30, and drove back to MO. I miss MN more than I thought I ever would, but I'm thinking that that ache in me is because of the intensity of everything I'm experiencing here and in my spirit.
The end. That is all. There is no more. Except there is. But there isn't. I don't know.
In summation, God is good! He loves us and wants to be our First Love. And that's what I want, too. soreadygoHolySpirit
Current Plans: Um, Awakening, photoediting.
Current Excitement: It's the weekend...?
So it's been awhile. Sure. Stuff has happened, I guess.
I'm putting down roots here at IHOP more and more with each passing day. It's hard to blog about what's been happening here, because a) my brain is still processing all the changes and b) there's alot. of it. Basically every aspect of my life and personality is taking a Holy Spirit beating. Which is a good thing, although it sounds kind of not.
I still miss home and my MN people, but it's so clear that God wants me here in this season that the homesickness is manageable. I'm falling in love with IHOPU and its students. Oh jeese, my classmates are incredible. So loving, encouraging, friendly, and convicted for Christ! And the teachers do nothing but provoke me to love Christ deeper and deeper. And the Holy Spirit is all over this place. It's crazy.
Okay. Since I don't really know what to talk about, I'mma just do this up list-style. All numerical and stuff.
1) In early November IHOPU is going to Southern California on an outreach/missions trip. LA, here I come! And the best part? Jesus already provided the funds for the trip! I don't have to pay a dime. Yeah, you could say it's a coincidence... OR you could admit that it's miraculous that I asked Jesus for money and in a matter of days He gave me the money I asked for and then some.
2) Speaking of financial miracles... On Tuesday in class, Wes Hall felt the Holy Spirit wanted to give people financial breakthroughs. So we stopped class and began praying for one another for finances. Wes said that God was going to release muchos finances in the next 24 hours. The next day in class, he asked people with financial testimonies to come up and share. A bunch of people, like 10-15 came up and shared stories of how people had randomly handed them checks, how they found money, etc, etc. Someone totaled up all the money received, and not including money on its way in the mail, there was over $20,000 received. Miraculously, NOT coincidentally. GOD PROVIDES, period.
3) My birthday is soon, just saying.
4) I got a job! At Red Bridge library! Minimum wage and no more than 16 hours a week! It'll be perfect to keep me in food and gas!
5) On Saturday night, I decided that I felt like being in MN. So... at midnight I left and drove home! I got home at 7amish, slept for four hours, ate lunch, went to see MY BABY... went to Bethel, then went downtown and saw Kendra's dorm and had MESA. OMG. Then I slept from 10:30-6:30, and drove back to MO. I miss MN more than I thought I ever would, but I'm thinking that that ache in me is because of the intensity of everything I'm experiencing here and in my spirit.
The end. That is all. There is no more. Except there is. But there isn't. I don't know.
In summation, God is good! He loves us and wants to be our First Love. And that's what I want, too. soreadygoHolySpirit
Saturday, September 4, 2010
In which I make lists
Current tunes: Prayer room archives. :D
Current plans: upload/edit photos, rest, call some people, Awakening, dinner?
Current excitement: a few quiet hours, The Call Sacramento, Independence MO
Hey all you friends and people I love and creepers.
So today I went to the Santa Cali-gon festival in Independence, MO. It's to commemorate the California, Santa Fe, and Oregon Trails which all began in Independence! There's loooads of history there- including The Truman Library and Museum, the Truman drugstore where he worked as a young lad, the jailhouse where all sorts of lowlifes were kept, and the original log courthouse from 1827. It's crazy how much old stuff there is there. I've been aching to go since I moved here. Anyways, IHOPU students were invited to volunteer at the fair, which is pret much a downsizing of the MN State Fair complete with a theme park. Why are they called theme parks, anyways? What's the theme?
So there were tons of vendors, booths, foods, people, stuff. IHOP had a couple of booths with facepainting, skits, healing ministry and dream interpretations... I volunteered to photograph. I had such a good time! I met a ton of other IHOPU students [let's hope I can remember all their names!] and took some gorgeous photos of people and historic buildings. So far, I've found that my camera has made more friends than me. :D Jk, but no really, my camera has been the best conversation starter/friend finder that I could think of. So praise the Lord for Maxwell. 306 photos, four hours, paint on my face, and a little touch of sunburn, and it's all good. ;D
There was a little bit of distress in the middle though... wanna hear about it? Okay. So coincidence of ironies, next to the three IHOP booths was a palm reading/psychic booth. And, well, they were NOT please to see us. They continually complained to the powers that be that we were too loud, distracting, and disrupting traffic flow. We were apparently also not allowed to evangelize because it was like we were 'hawking our wares' which is something they discouraged at the festival. So this woman who was in charge of the booths had to come and literally yell at us several times to.. idk, stay in our area? It was kind of scary. I mean, we're from IHOP. We just wanna spread the loooove, not cause a riot. But this woman and the psychics next door were all verrryyyy angry with us. So that was sad. We tried feverishly to comply and satisfy, but some people just refuse to be calmed. Seriously, I think this woman seeks out conflict in her life to give her a sense of purpose or whatever, I don't know. It was uncomfortable. But we all just kept praying so hopefully IHOP hasn't been shut down yet!
Got a package from my mama today! Including some newspaper comics from home and a National Geographic! Suhweet! Love you mama bear. You make everything better!!!!
So. Things I miss about home:
1. Mama and Papa Bears [and the rest of my family!]
1.5. Brennan William
2. Knowing where everything is and how to get there.
3. Having all my friends in one spot.
4. Having my papa kill spiders.
5. Letting my mom do my dishes & laundry
6. Having an income
7. Going out to eat with my amigos
8. My bedroom
9. Never stressing about finding parking
10. Bridgewood!
11. Not having to worry about buying food/eating healthy/being in charge of myself... does that make sense?
12. Using my mama's make-up
13. Having some sense of control over my life :D
14. Bethel
15. That homey feeling.
16. Mama hugs and cuddles. D:
17. Making cookies, eating cookies.
18. Good easy internet.
19. Nicer heating and cooling. [insulation]
20. Having my dad protect and care for my car.
Things I love about IHOP:
1. The community.
2. My fellow first years.
3. Studying under brilliant pr/teachers.
4. The worship.
5. The Awakenings.
6. The worship leaders.
7. The prayer room.
8. Higher Grounds.
9. The friendliness.
10. ALL JESUS, ALL THE TIME.
11. My rooooom.
12. My bed. [even more than my home bed]
13. The Larsons and their funny babies.
14. Accountability.
15. Integrity.
16. Making new friends.
17. Exploring a whole new city, lotsa good eats!
18. Encountering the Living God
19. Getting packages, fb videos, and phone love from my mama.
20. Skyping, all the time.
Stuff happens, things change, people move away and grow up. That's all that this is, and all this is is GOOD. F'reals. I'm glad God's brought me here, I wouldn't change a thing about how it all worked out. His dreams for me are better than my dreams for me ever were or ever could be. This God that I follow is bigger than my weak words and fallen actions. This God? He loves me, end of story. Forever.
[[End of the day edit: Overall, today was probs one of the best I've had here so far. There was the Santa Caligon festival, fulfilling my historic/social/IHOPUlove needs, there was Awakening, there was an awesome dinner/photoshoot with Colin Chesla y su padres, I met some new pallies... God spoke to my soul today. He's showering love over me, I just know it. I keep thinking, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. It hasn't even really started yet. I'm meant to be here, and there's an endless supply of love and delight in God for me specifically. Can you understand that?!? Praise to the Lord of all creation, who created me and my heart just the way He wanted. Who made me a singer, a photographer, a laugher, a worshipper, an interceder, a friend, a daughter, and a lover. Praise Him for what I am, for without Him, I would be nothing.]]
Current plans: upload/edit photos, rest, call some people, Awakening, dinner?
Current excitement: a few quiet hours, The Call Sacramento, Independence MO
Hey all you friends and people I love and creepers.
So today I went to the Santa Cali-gon festival in Independence, MO. It's to commemorate the California, Santa Fe, and Oregon Trails which all began in Independence! There's loooads of history there- including The Truman Library and Museum, the Truman drugstore where he worked as a young lad, the jailhouse where all sorts of lowlifes were kept, and the original log courthouse from 1827. It's crazy how much old stuff there is there. I've been aching to go since I moved here. Anyways, IHOPU students were invited to volunteer at the fair, which is pret much a downsizing of the MN State Fair complete with a theme park. Why are they called theme parks, anyways? What's the theme?
So there were tons of vendors, booths, foods, people, stuff. IHOP had a couple of booths with facepainting, skits, healing ministry and dream interpretations... I volunteered to photograph. I had such a good time! I met a ton of other IHOPU students [let's hope I can remember all their names!] and took some gorgeous photos of people and historic buildings. So far, I've found that my camera has made more friends than me. :D Jk, but no really, my camera has been the best conversation starter/friend finder that I could think of. So praise the Lord for Maxwell. 306 photos, four hours, paint on my face, and a little touch of sunburn, and it's all good. ;D
There was a little bit of distress in the middle though... wanna hear about it? Okay. So coincidence of ironies, next to the three IHOP booths was a palm reading/psychic booth. And, well, they were NOT please to see us. They continually complained to the powers that be that we were too loud, distracting, and disrupting traffic flow. We were apparently also not allowed to evangelize because it was like we were 'hawking our wares' which is something they discouraged at the festival. So this woman who was in charge of the booths had to come and literally yell at us several times to.. idk, stay in our area? It was kind of scary. I mean, we're from IHOP. We just wanna spread the loooove, not cause a riot. But this woman and the psychics next door were all verrryyyy angry with us. So that was sad. We tried feverishly to comply and satisfy, but some people just refuse to be calmed. Seriously, I think this woman seeks out conflict in her life to give her a sense of purpose or whatever, I don't know. It was uncomfortable. But we all just kept praying so hopefully IHOP hasn't been shut down yet!
Got a package from my mama today! Including some newspaper comics from home and a National Geographic! Suhweet! Love you mama bear. You make everything better!!!!
So. Things I miss about home:
1. Mama and Papa Bears [and the rest of my family!]
1.5. Brennan William
2. Knowing where everything is and how to get there.
3. Having all my friends in one spot.
4. Having my papa kill spiders.
5. Letting my mom do my dishes & laundry
6. Having an income
7. Going out to eat with my amigos
8. My bedroom
9. Never stressing about finding parking
10. Bridgewood!
11. Not having to worry about buying food/eating healthy/being in charge of myself... does that make sense?
12. Using my mama's make-up
13. Having some sense of control over my life :D
14. Bethel
15. That homey feeling.
16. Mama hugs and cuddles. D:
17. Making cookies, eating cookies.
18. Good easy internet.
19. Nicer heating and cooling. [insulation]
20. Having my dad protect and care for my car.
Things I love about IHOP:
1. The community.
2. My fellow first years.
3. Studying under brilliant pr/teachers.
4. The worship.
5. The Awakenings.
6. The worship leaders.
7. The prayer room.
8. Higher Grounds.
9. The friendliness.
10. ALL JESUS, ALL THE TIME.
11. My rooooom.
12. My bed. [even more than my home bed]
13. The Larsons and their funny babies.
14. Accountability.
15. Integrity.
16. Making new friends.
17. Exploring a whole new city, lotsa good eats!
18. Encountering the Living God
19. Getting packages, fb videos, and phone love from my mama.
20. Skyping, all the time.
Stuff happens, things change, people move away and grow up. That's all that this is, and all this is is GOOD. F'reals. I'm glad God's brought me here, I wouldn't change a thing about how it all worked out. His dreams for me are better than my dreams for me ever were or ever could be. This God that I follow is bigger than my weak words and fallen actions. This God? He loves me, end of story. Forever.
[[End of the day edit: Overall, today was probs one of the best I've had here so far. There was the Santa Caligon festival, fulfilling my historic/social/IHOPUlove needs, there was Awakening, there was an awesome dinner/photoshoot with Colin Chesla y su padres, I met some new pallies... God spoke to my soul today. He's showering love over me, I just know it. I keep thinking, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. It hasn't even really started yet. I'm meant to be here, and there's an endless supply of love and delight in God for me specifically. Can you understand that?!? Praise to the Lord of all creation, who created me and my heart just the way He wanted. Who made me a singer, a photographer, a laugher, a worshipper, an interceder, a friend, a daughter, and a lover. Praise Him for what I am, for without Him, I would be nothing.]]
Saturday, August 28, 2010
In which I fascinate you with an account of IHOPU and tattoo ideas
Current Tunes: Ingrid Michaelson
Current Plans: Eat, laze about, buy foodstuffs, edit?, PR tonight
Current Excitement: Living the dream. :D
Hey all.
I've wanted to blog for like a week. But there was internet issues, lethargy issues, and avoidance issues. But here I come!!
So. Two whole weeks of classes down already. Soooo much time with Jesus. Soooo many revelations of who He is and who He wants me to be. Too much for a blog post, so don't expect it. :D
On the practical side, classes are gonna be fine. Requiring a lot of reading/reviewing of notes, but that's easy peasy. Choir's gonna be the bomb, because JAYE THOMAS is my choir director. He's officially my favorite person at IHOP. We're gonna be sining at the Awakening at the end of the semester, so that's really exciting! Ummm...
Still treasuring the fact that I'm in a subculture that values honesty, integrity, honor, generosity, kindness, selflessness, joy, and purity. You don't really get a lot of that in the 'real world.' Everyone I've met so far has just drawn me in with their love of Christ. I want to make friends with everyone on campus right now, haha. Working on that goal. I just like being around people who are wholeheartedly kind and real... It's hard to explain, but it's so so delicious. There's no sniping, gossiping, judging, malicious speak, dirty jokes... It's like rated G but so much fun. It actually makes my heart break for all the people in the world who degrade themselves and their tongues for this kind of fun. Those people who toss their heart ceaselessly around in the hope that someone will hold it even if it's just for a moment. Here, you trust people with your heart. In a sense. It also makes me so sad to think of everyone who has to shoot up their bloodstream with artificial fun in order to feel like they're okay with being alive. Because I've seen the other side of the world- that simply by being genuine and surrounding yourself with people of integrity, you can receive the most pleasure. ENDRANT.
Today was SUPPOSED to be semi-productive, but for the first time I didn't wake up to the babies this morning, so I accidently didn't wake up until 10:30, which meant my day was doomed to be full of lethargy. So. Showered already, so that's a start. Working myself up to eat some lunch, do laundry? Maybe? Target can happen tomorrow or Monday, I'm not in any kind of desperation as far as food. Yeah, haven't done laundry yet and still pretty nervous about it. It just seems like if anyone could screw it up, I could.
OH. Man, this week I've been bitten by tattoo fever. Okay, so my whole life, I never really wanted a tattoo. I always wanted a nose piercing, like since sixth grade, but that's it as far as desired body modifications. But in the past year or so, I've seen so many unspeakably beautiful tattoos that are giving me a new perspective... And then you come to IHOP where like every other person and their mother has a tattoo. And suddenly I'm overwhelmed with the deep desire to have Godwords all over me. Idk.. I'll never be like, covered in tattoos, but suddenly I have a LOT of ideas for locations and words and stuff. I always promised myself that I would never get a tattoo that holds no deep meaning for me, so you won't see me getting frivolous, flowery, 'I got it cuz it was cute' tattoos, I promise.
The one I most want and the one I'll probs be getting first is the one on my collarbone. I'm not sure exactly how it'll look yet, whether it'll be around the collar bone, or in broken paragraphs on each side. The lyrics are "This is my call, I belong to You. This is my call to sing the melodies of You." If it's around the collar bone like a necklace it'll only be the latter half. Idk. I spent all morning looking at tattoo ideas online and I'm suuuper excited! Other places I'm thinking about are my right wrist, behind my ear, my neck, and my foot... which all seem to be the most painful places. But... my dream tattoo that will NEVER happen but would still be awesome would be an awesome tigre on the side of my ribcage. But anyways, other than the collarbone, they'll all be little things like one word, Bible verses, the like. I also would like to get a tattoo outline of MN someday just to remember where I came from and where the people I love are... Assuming I will not be living in MN for the rest of my life.
Wow. Okay that was a long and uncharacteristic rant about tattoos. Idk, I'll keep praying about it, but I've seriously been thinking about it SO MUCH in the last week. Haha. Excited.
Um, so I love living on my own... I love the people/staff here... I love the prayer room, mostly... I found a mall! Civilization! Me and my friend Jeff got Cold Stone there... And they don't have small sizes, so you get so much ice cream that you throw up, basically. Love it. Kind of wish I had a maid. And a job to pay for the maid... my salsa grew mold after one week and I don't know what to do about it now... I'm getting to be so ninja at killing spiders. :D
Today is an Ingrid/Adele/Maria Solheim/Alexi Murdoch/John Thurlow kind of day... Jeese, only 2.5 hours till I have to be in the prayer room again... If I could change one thing about IHOPU it would be that we could have a day, even a weekend off... God forbid we get to go home... D: But I love it still, flaws and incongruencies, and miscommunications and all.
Alright, I'm audi 5000.
<3
Current Plans: Eat, laze about, buy foodstuffs, edit?, PR tonight
Current Excitement: Living the dream. :D
Hey all.
I've wanted to blog for like a week. But there was internet issues, lethargy issues, and avoidance issues. But here I come!!
So. Two whole weeks of classes down already. Soooo much time with Jesus. Soooo many revelations of who He is and who He wants me to be. Too much for a blog post, so don't expect it. :D
On the practical side, classes are gonna be fine. Requiring a lot of reading/reviewing of notes, but that's easy peasy. Choir's gonna be the bomb, because JAYE THOMAS is my choir director. He's officially my favorite person at IHOP. We're gonna be sining at the Awakening at the end of the semester, so that's really exciting! Ummm...
Still treasuring the fact that I'm in a subculture that values honesty, integrity, honor, generosity, kindness, selflessness, joy, and purity. You don't really get a lot of that in the 'real world.' Everyone I've met so far has just drawn me in with their love of Christ. I want to make friends with everyone on campus right now, haha. Working on that goal. I just like being around people who are wholeheartedly kind and real... It's hard to explain, but it's so so delicious. There's no sniping, gossiping, judging, malicious speak, dirty jokes... It's like rated G but so much fun. It actually makes my heart break for all the people in the world who degrade themselves and their tongues for this kind of fun. Those people who toss their heart ceaselessly around in the hope that someone will hold it even if it's just for a moment. Here, you trust people with your heart. In a sense. It also makes me so sad to think of everyone who has to shoot up their bloodstream with artificial fun in order to feel like they're okay with being alive. Because I've seen the other side of the world- that simply by being genuine and surrounding yourself with people of integrity, you can receive the most pleasure. ENDRANT.
Today was SUPPOSED to be semi-productive, but for the first time I didn't wake up to the babies this morning, so I accidently didn't wake up until 10:30, which meant my day was doomed to be full of lethargy. So. Showered already, so that's a start. Working myself up to eat some lunch, do laundry? Maybe? Target can happen tomorrow or Monday, I'm not in any kind of desperation as far as food. Yeah, haven't done laundry yet and still pretty nervous about it. It just seems like if anyone could screw it up, I could.
OH. Man, this week I've been bitten by tattoo fever. Okay, so my whole life, I never really wanted a tattoo. I always wanted a nose piercing, like since sixth grade, but that's it as far as desired body modifications. But in the past year or so, I've seen so many unspeakably beautiful tattoos that are giving me a new perspective... And then you come to IHOP where like every other person and their mother has a tattoo. And suddenly I'm overwhelmed with the deep desire to have Godwords all over me. Idk.. I'll never be like, covered in tattoos, but suddenly I have a LOT of ideas for locations and words and stuff. I always promised myself that I would never get a tattoo that holds no deep meaning for me, so you won't see me getting frivolous, flowery, 'I got it cuz it was cute' tattoos, I promise.
The one I most want and the one I'll probs be getting first is the one on my collarbone. I'm not sure exactly how it'll look yet, whether it'll be around the collar bone, or in broken paragraphs on each side. The lyrics are "This is my call, I belong to You. This is my call to sing the melodies of You." If it's around the collar bone like a necklace it'll only be the latter half. Idk. I spent all morning looking at tattoo ideas online and I'm suuuper excited! Other places I'm thinking about are my right wrist, behind my ear, my neck, and my foot... which all seem to be the most painful places. But... my dream tattoo that will NEVER happen but would still be awesome would be an awesome tigre on the side of my ribcage. But anyways, other than the collarbone, they'll all be little things like one word, Bible verses, the like. I also would like to get a tattoo outline of MN someday just to remember where I came from and where the people I love are... Assuming I will not be living in MN for the rest of my life.
Wow. Okay that was a long and uncharacteristic rant about tattoos. Idk, I'll keep praying about it, but I've seriously been thinking about it SO MUCH in the last week. Haha. Excited.
Um, so I love living on my own... I love the people/staff here... I love the prayer room, mostly... I found a mall! Civilization! Me and my friend Jeff got Cold Stone there... And they don't have small sizes, so you get so much ice cream that you throw up, basically. Love it. Kind of wish I had a maid. And a job to pay for the maid... my salsa grew mold after one week and I don't know what to do about it now... I'm getting to be so ninja at killing spiders. :D
Today is an Ingrid/Adele/Maria Solheim/Alexi Murdoch/John Thurlow kind of day... Jeese, only 2.5 hours till I have to be in the prayer room again... If I could change one thing about IHOPU it would be that we could have a day, even a weekend off... God forbid we get to go home... D: But I love it still, flaws and incongruencies, and miscommunications and all.
Alright, I'm audi 5000.
<3
Saturday, August 14, 2010
In which I describe Orientation
Current Tunes: The Immersed album from IHOP
Current Plans: read the Word, watch some House, Awakening later.
Current Excitement: Starting classes in the new building on Monday!
Well, here I am, all settled in at my new dwelling place.
Move in was swift and virtually painless. I pretty much had everything settled and done by that evening, so that was a blessing! The Larsons left for vacation the night I moved in, so for almost a week now I've been living completely on my own. Normally, that would really super freak me out. A lot. I tend to be able to freak myself out really easily. Living alone in the attic of an unfamiliar house in a new city and state in an area with the reputation of not being the safest is like a perfect recipe for a panic attack. But by God's grace and provision alone, I have felt not one moment of fear in being here alone. Even last night, with a classic thunderstorm, lightening flashing every other second, coming home to a dark, presumably empty house didn't freak me out. If anything I was excited to just sit in my room and stare out my window at God's gloriousness. He's so good!
Although I didn't feel any fear for my physical safety, I must admit the transition to BEING AN ADULT and living on my own and figuring stuff out for myself was a little rocky. Okay, it wasn't so bad. It just felt a little overwhelming. I am blessed with a great, supportive family, and to suddenly be far outside the physical reach of that support system was a little disorienting. It took some getting used to-- realizing that I had to kill my own spiders, buy my own light bulbs, wash my own dishes, do my own laundry, plan out my own days. Granted, some of that I was prepared for, but it was still just... bewildering? To be ALONE. I kept reminding how it's something I've always wanted-- to be live on my own and make my own decisions. And now that I've settled in a bit, I really am enjoying it. It was just a process of transitioning, is all.
So orientation has actually been really fun. If you know me at all, you know I'm not an orientation type of girl. I hate that awkward small talk, awkward introductions, cheesy games and 'get to know ya' crap. But I don't know... Something about IHOPU students is different. I guess because we're all filled with a love of Jesus, we're all like, extra friendly, smilely, and excited. You can just sit randomly next to anyone, and they'll smile, introduce themselves, and comment on how great the Lord is. My thoughts are like, Man, I belong here!. No matter what time of day, or where on IHOP property you are, you can overhear a conversation of students or staff talking about Jesus like He was a part of the group. It's pretty freakin' awesome. People here aren't messing around; they're here to serve the Lord with faith and submission.
I've met a lot of new, beautiful people. I can't wait to form bonds with them during the next few years, or however long the Lord allows. When we're all worshipping communally, you just get this sense that we're a family. That anyone here would do anything for their neighbor, and vice versa. I don't know what that is, other than the bold love imparted by the Holy Spirit. Meow. I love it.
Orientation has consisted mostly of a few games, several instructional-type meetings, and plenty of worship/prophetic soaking/prayer room times. The Holy Spirit has been thick around here, and aggressive on His pursuit of my heart. He's been calling me out as His Beloved. He's also called me His star and His radical princess. I accept these names and long to live my life out beneath them.
Other cool things/observations so far: This house is beeyoootiful. Seeing musicians like Misty Edwards, Cory Asbury, and Laura Hackett worship everyday is something I don't think I'll ever get used to. I feel SO blessed to have this opportunity. I miss my MN peeps and think about them lots. Mostimes I wish they were here with me to drink deep from this Holy Spirit river. I think I'm going to be picking the prayer room track that says I have to be in the prayer room from 6-9:30 AM Mon-Wed, so that's... horrifying. I just think I should do it then so that the rest of my days'll be more relaxed and open. I can always determine a nap schedule. I get to test it out this week, so if it's really awful, I can always do the afternoon schedule. I'm interested in finding a job, so pray that the Lord opens up a good'un for me. If that's His will! It's really stinkin' hot here. Oppressive heat. The kind where breathing makes you sweat. Umm... there was something else... The new campus is a beautiful, awesome, fantastic facility. Complete with a cafeteria, library, coffee shop, lounges, classrooms, and a recording studio! We got to wander around it for a bit yesterday. COOOL.
That's all I can think of right now. So cheerio, mates!
Current Plans: read the Word, watch some House, Awakening later.
Current Excitement: Starting classes in the new building on Monday!
Well, here I am, all settled in at my new dwelling place.
Move in was swift and virtually painless. I pretty much had everything settled and done by that evening, so that was a blessing! The Larsons left for vacation the night I moved in, so for almost a week now I've been living completely on my own. Normally, that would really super freak me out. A lot. I tend to be able to freak myself out really easily. Living alone in the attic of an unfamiliar house in a new city and state in an area with the reputation of not being the safest is like a perfect recipe for a panic attack. But by God's grace and provision alone, I have felt not one moment of fear in being here alone. Even last night, with a classic thunderstorm, lightening flashing every other second, coming home to a dark, presumably empty house didn't freak me out. If anything I was excited to just sit in my room and stare out my window at God's gloriousness. He's so good!
Although I didn't feel any fear for my physical safety, I must admit the transition to BEING AN ADULT and living on my own and figuring stuff out for myself was a little rocky. Okay, it wasn't so bad. It just felt a little overwhelming. I am blessed with a great, supportive family, and to suddenly be far outside the physical reach of that support system was a little disorienting. It took some getting used to-- realizing that I had to kill my own spiders, buy my own light bulbs, wash my own dishes, do my own laundry, plan out my own days. Granted, some of that I was prepared for, but it was still just... bewildering? To be ALONE. I kept reminding how it's something I've always wanted-- to be live on my own and make my own decisions. And now that I've settled in a bit, I really am enjoying it. It was just a process of transitioning, is all.
So orientation has actually been really fun. If you know me at all, you know I'm not an orientation type of girl. I hate that awkward small talk, awkward introductions, cheesy games and 'get to know ya' crap. But I don't know... Something about IHOPU students is different. I guess because we're all filled with a love of Jesus, we're all like, extra friendly, smilely, and excited. You can just sit randomly next to anyone, and they'll smile, introduce themselves, and comment on how great the Lord is. My thoughts are like, Man, I belong here!. No matter what time of day, or where on IHOP property you are, you can overhear a conversation of students or staff talking about Jesus like He was a part of the group. It's pretty freakin' awesome. People here aren't messing around; they're here to serve the Lord with faith and submission.
I've met a lot of new, beautiful people. I can't wait to form bonds with them during the next few years, or however long the Lord allows. When we're all worshipping communally, you just get this sense that we're a family. That anyone here would do anything for their neighbor, and vice versa. I don't know what that is, other than the bold love imparted by the Holy Spirit. Meow. I love it.
Orientation has consisted mostly of a few games, several instructional-type meetings, and plenty of worship/prophetic soaking/prayer room times. The Holy Spirit has been thick around here, and aggressive on His pursuit of my heart. He's been calling me out as His Beloved. He's also called me His star and His radical princess. I accept these names and long to live my life out beneath them.
Other cool things/observations so far: This house is beeyoootiful. Seeing musicians like Misty Edwards, Cory Asbury, and Laura Hackett worship everyday is something I don't think I'll ever get used to. I feel SO blessed to have this opportunity. I miss my MN peeps and think about them lots. Mostimes I wish they were here with me to drink deep from this Holy Spirit river. I think I'm going to be picking the prayer room track that says I have to be in the prayer room from 6-9:30 AM Mon-Wed, so that's... horrifying. I just think I should do it then so that the rest of my days'll be more relaxed and open. I can always determine a nap schedule. I get to test it out this week, so if it's really awful, I can always do the afternoon schedule. I'm interested in finding a job, so pray that the Lord opens up a good'un for me. If that's His will! It's really stinkin' hot here. Oppressive heat. The kind where breathing makes you sweat. Umm... there was something else... The new campus is a beautiful, awesome, fantastic facility. Complete with a cafeteria, library, coffee shop, lounges, classrooms, and a recording studio! We got to wander around it for a bit yesterday. COOOL.
That's all I can think of right now. So cheerio, mates!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
In which I talk about packing and pre-moving out revelations.
Current tunes: Cory Asbury
Current plans: ... Undecided. Maybe a night at home.
Current excitement: Moving out this weekend.
So.
This is real life, man.
Haha... Well, I've spent the day packing my clothings (3 containers, one box, and one laundry basket FULL), jewelry (one spiderman lunchbox), cameras, cds, schoolstuff, and other miscellaneous odds and ends. I also COMPLETELY cleaned out my car. So I'm feeling pretty accomplished, but surprisingly not worn out. But as much as I'd like to go out and SEE people and DO things, I really, really am feeling a quiet night home.
I guess this week kind of surprised me. I didn't get a 'summer' this year, save a few sweet and short weeks. My summer was literally spent work, work, working. And not for a bundle of money, either. My body actually wakes itself up between 8 and 9 now... What the biscuit is that about?? Adulthood, I tell ya. Really all I want is like another week to sleep in past 10AM, be careless and silly, and spend time with my oodles of good friends. But Sunday's D-Day, and I'm out of here.
Mama and Papa are following me down there in the van, and I'll be moving in Monday, so sayeth THE PLAN. Gahhh, I have SO MUCH STUFF. Just stuff. It's verging on hoarder-status. I don't even know what half this STUFF is, or why in the world I'd ever want to save it. I hope Missouri can teach me a thing or two about simplicity.
How am I feeling about moving out, you ask? Well let me tell you: I am AFRAID. Last night was the first night I really let my brain process the fact that I am leaving my parent's home, and I'm not gonna lie, I felt like crying. I still do. But in a good, this is how it's supposed to be, and I can't wait to start the next part of my life sort of way. Plus, it's straight up Biblical, this 'leaving the house of my father to follow the LORD' deal. But I've never faced such a HUGE change before. New school, new home, new room, new state, new friends, new freakin' ZIP CODE (which I still have to memorize... dang.) I guess I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel. I'm excited, yes, totally-- because I know this is where God is leading me. And I promised Him that I would follow where He led me. And He promised me that He would not leave me alone, even for one STEP of that journey. So I trust that He'll be with me... But I also keep thinking of how achingly I'll MISS everyone. From my random friends, to my closest friends, my family, my churchfamily... even my coworkers! I have such a wide support system that I'm a little nervous as to how I'll do down south, without everyone physically with me... But then I remind myself that there are so many methods of communication these days that I won't have any excuse for missing anyone.
I'm also anxious that I'll forget something, or I'll do something really stupid, or that I'll be the least informed person there. So there's that... but like Kendra loves to remind me, GOD DOES NOT GIVE US A SPIRIT OF FEAR. So I'll be remembering that frequently.
Sooooo. I've been to Target like 10 of the last 14 days. Pretty sure. I'm buying up the store, I tell you. And I went to MOA/Ikea twice in three days, so that's kind of amusing. Purchased a table @ Ikea. What seemed impossible and improbable 8 months ago is now all coming together right before my eyes, and the astounding comfort and provision from the LORD are quite apparent. So praise His name, praise His name, praise the God of us.
also. Thinking of getting a tattoo that says "This is my call, to sing the melodies of You." They're lyrics from a Sixpence None the Richer song. But just thinking. I'm a poor college student now, so I may have to pass on the ink.
That's it for now.
<3
Current plans: ... Undecided. Maybe a night at home.
Current excitement: Moving out this weekend.
So.
This is real life, man.
Haha... Well, I've spent the day packing my clothings (3 containers, one box, and one laundry basket FULL), jewelry (one spiderman lunchbox), cameras, cds, schoolstuff, and other miscellaneous odds and ends. I also COMPLETELY cleaned out my car. So I'm feeling pretty accomplished, but surprisingly not worn out. But as much as I'd like to go out and SEE people and DO things, I really, really am feeling a quiet night home.
I guess this week kind of surprised me. I didn't get a 'summer' this year, save a few sweet and short weeks. My summer was literally spent work, work, working. And not for a bundle of money, either. My body actually wakes itself up between 8 and 9 now... What the biscuit is that about?? Adulthood, I tell ya. Really all I want is like another week to sleep in past 10AM, be careless and silly, and spend time with my oodles of good friends. But Sunday's D-Day, and I'm out of here.
Mama and Papa are following me down there in the van, and I'll be moving in Monday, so sayeth THE PLAN. Gahhh, I have SO MUCH STUFF. Just stuff. It's verging on hoarder-status. I don't even know what half this STUFF is, or why in the world I'd ever want to save it. I hope Missouri can teach me a thing or two about simplicity.
How am I feeling about moving out, you ask? Well let me tell you: I am AFRAID. Last night was the first night I really let my brain process the fact that I am leaving my parent's home, and I'm not gonna lie, I felt like crying. I still do. But in a good, this is how it's supposed to be, and I can't wait to start the next part of my life sort of way. Plus, it's straight up Biblical, this 'leaving the house of my father to follow the LORD' deal. But I've never faced such a HUGE change before. New school, new home, new room, new state, new friends, new freakin' ZIP CODE (which I still have to memorize... dang.) I guess I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel. I'm excited, yes, totally-- because I know this is where God is leading me. And I promised Him that I would follow where He led me. And He promised me that He would not leave me alone, even for one STEP of that journey. So I trust that He'll be with me... But I also keep thinking of how achingly I'll MISS everyone. From my random friends, to my closest friends, my family, my churchfamily... even my coworkers! I have such a wide support system that I'm a little nervous as to how I'll do down south, without everyone physically with me... But then I remind myself that there are so many methods of communication these days that I won't have any excuse for missing anyone.
I'm also anxious that I'll forget something, or I'll do something really stupid, or that I'll be the least informed person there. So there's that... but like Kendra loves to remind me, GOD DOES NOT GIVE US A SPIRIT OF FEAR. So I'll be remembering that frequently.
Sooooo. I've been to Target like 10 of the last 14 days. Pretty sure. I'm buying up the store, I tell you. And I went to MOA/Ikea twice in three days, so that's kind of amusing. Purchased a table @ Ikea. What seemed impossible and improbable 8 months ago is now all coming together right before my eyes, and the astounding comfort and provision from the LORD are quite apparent. So praise His name, praise His name, praise the God of us.
also. Thinking of getting a tattoo that says "This is my call, to sing the melodies of You." They're lyrics from a Sixpence None the Richer song. But just thinking. I'm a poor college student now, so I may have to pass on the ink.
That's it for now.
<3
Sunday, July 11, 2010
In which I describe a storm.
Current Tunes: Misty Edwards
Current Plans: R&R (Including reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier)
Current Excitement: Moving in a month!
Wow. SO I know I neglected blogging. Every time I wanted to sit down and blog about something going on in my life, I just got lethargic and opted to do something else instead. That, and I've really had only a couple hours of spare time in the past many moons.
But I felt that today was God's gift to me, and I'd like to share about it with you invisible souls.
I woke up inexplicably REALLY early. And was AWAKE. So then I had a nice shower and reading in bed time. Some friends of mine who I haven't seen in awhile were at church, and afterwards we went to Wendy's, which was fabulous. Then I came home and had like a 45 minute nap, which was perfect, because it left me refreshed rather than groggy. I woke up to the sound of booming, house-shaking thunder. And I felt GOOD. Just a nice, happy feeling.
So then I went to my friend's grad party. And she lives in Woodbury. This would be awesome, except that it was POURING. And there was road construction/detours. And I couldn't see the road or the other cars. I was freaking out. It took me 40 minutes to get there, and traffic was busy and barely moving. And I had no idea where I was going, but by the grace of God I arrived safe and sound to spend an hour or so with my dear friend at her party, eating carrots. Yummy. I was still in a good mood, but I was kind of dreading the drive home due to scary weather.
However, as I was leaving the party, I saw this gorgeous, thick rainbow low in the sky. I about peed my pants. Because I love rainbows. And that just got me thinking about how beautiful God's creation is, and how great of an artist our Creator is. So I keep driving, west on 94. And the sky is just unspeakably fantastic. Northish, over St. Paul, there is this WALL of grey clouds. You can tell it's raining hard over there. But around the grey clouds, there's spots of fluffy white and pale blue. It's like God took His thumb and smudged a splotch of grey, smearing it down to the landscape. I was breathless just viewing it. The grey clouds were so ... dark, and rolly, and powerful looking. And in my head I was like, this calls for Misty Edwards. So I pop in the cd as I'm merging on to 35E. And if you haven't heard the song before, the lyrics are pretty simple:
My soul longs for You (2X)
Nothing else will do (2X) (repeat several times)
I believe you will come like the rain. (repeat a lot)
So, come like the rain. (also repeat a lot)
And so there I am, driving through the rain and the storm clouds, and I'm just praising God through the storm, literally. I can't explain it. The vast power of the sky just flattened me in its beauty and glory. I also felt some kind of personal connection to the sky, like God was painting it all just for me. It felt intimate, the sky.
So, then, the song gets to a point where Misty sings, "Hallelujah, hallelujah, You make all things new, all things new" over and over again. And just as the song reaches that point, the freeway bursts out of cloud cover into this GLORIOUS daylight! Pale blue skies with fluffy, rolling white clouds. And this liquid gold sunlight is just washing over me. I started tearing up, honestly, it was so perfect. After driving through such wicked weather all afternoon, seeing this perfect, still weather was a blessing. I could still see the black and grey clouds in my mirrors, thundering and swirling. But all that was ahead was this brilliant day. God filled me with this love so big I almost couldn't stand it.
GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW.
After a wretched storm, although beautiful in its merciless power, God made the day new. He renewed the sunlight's strength, gave him back his dominance in the sky. The sun won the day.
God does that in our lives, my loves. He brings us through this awful times of anguish and calamity. He not only brings us to them, He brings us THROUGH these times. Through- that means we make it to the other side. Always. Earlier today, driving to the party in the heavy rain, I was so terrified. I thought I would lose control or hit a car I couldn't see through my windshield. But God brought me safely to the party, and He rewarded me with a glorious vista on the way home. God is good, He is so, so good Beloved.
I'm gonna be honest here- My flame's been flickering. I've been working a lot, and I've been feeling discouraged about how little time I'll have with friends and family before I leave (the date's August 8th, mark your calendars!). I've been worrying about buying stuff for my new dwelling place, worrying about not having enough time, worrying about missing people, worrying about money, worrying about moving out and living without my mom to answer all of my stupid questions. Worrying. Faltering, fretting, stressing, and retreating.
But God makes all things new. Miraculously, He's given me this whole evening to do with as I please. He's renewing my strength on this Sabbath to get through the coming week of work, work, and more work. I need His renewal every morning, but loves, He'll do it. He delights to be our strength.
Psalm 27, v 13-14 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Cheerio, mates. See you around!
Current Plans: R&R (Including reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier)
Current Excitement: Moving in a month!
Wow. SO I know I neglected blogging. Every time I wanted to sit down and blog about something going on in my life, I just got lethargic and opted to do something else instead. That, and I've really had only a couple hours of spare time in the past many moons.
But I felt that today was God's gift to me, and I'd like to share about it with you invisible souls.
I woke up inexplicably REALLY early. And was AWAKE. So then I had a nice shower and reading in bed time. Some friends of mine who I haven't seen in awhile were at church, and afterwards we went to Wendy's, which was fabulous. Then I came home and had like a 45 minute nap, which was perfect, because it left me refreshed rather than groggy. I woke up to the sound of booming, house-shaking thunder. And I felt GOOD. Just a nice, happy feeling.
So then I went to my friend's grad party. And she lives in Woodbury. This would be awesome, except that it was POURING. And there was road construction/detours. And I couldn't see the road or the other cars. I was freaking out. It took me 40 minutes to get there, and traffic was busy and barely moving. And I had no idea where I was going, but by the grace of God I arrived safe and sound to spend an hour or so with my dear friend at her party, eating carrots. Yummy. I was still in a good mood, but I was kind of dreading the drive home due to scary weather.
However, as I was leaving the party, I saw this gorgeous, thick rainbow low in the sky. I about peed my pants. Because I love rainbows. And that just got me thinking about how beautiful God's creation is, and how great of an artist our Creator is. So I keep driving, west on 94. And the sky is just unspeakably fantastic. Northish, over St. Paul, there is this WALL of grey clouds. You can tell it's raining hard over there. But around the grey clouds, there's spots of fluffy white and pale blue. It's like God took His thumb and smudged a splotch of grey, smearing it down to the landscape. I was breathless just viewing it. The grey clouds were so ... dark, and rolly, and powerful looking. And in my head I was like, this calls for Misty Edwards. So I pop in the cd as I'm merging on to 35E. And if you haven't heard the song before, the lyrics are pretty simple:
My soul longs for You (2X)
Nothing else will do (2X) (repeat several times)
I believe you will come like the rain. (repeat a lot)
So, come like the rain. (also repeat a lot)
And so there I am, driving through the rain and the storm clouds, and I'm just praising God through the storm, literally. I can't explain it. The vast power of the sky just flattened me in its beauty and glory. I also felt some kind of personal connection to the sky, like God was painting it all just for me. It felt intimate, the sky.
So, then, the song gets to a point where Misty sings, "Hallelujah, hallelujah, You make all things new, all things new" over and over again. And just as the song reaches that point, the freeway bursts out of cloud cover into this GLORIOUS daylight! Pale blue skies with fluffy, rolling white clouds. And this liquid gold sunlight is just washing over me. I started tearing up, honestly, it was so perfect. After driving through such wicked weather all afternoon, seeing this perfect, still weather was a blessing. I could still see the black and grey clouds in my mirrors, thundering and swirling. But all that was ahead was this brilliant day. God filled me with this love so big I almost couldn't stand it.
GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW.
After a wretched storm, although beautiful in its merciless power, God made the day new. He renewed the sunlight's strength, gave him back his dominance in the sky. The sun won the day.
God does that in our lives, my loves. He brings us through this awful times of anguish and calamity. He not only brings us to them, He brings us THROUGH these times. Through- that means we make it to the other side. Always. Earlier today, driving to the party in the heavy rain, I was so terrified. I thought I would lose control or hit a car I couldn't see through my windshield. But God brought me safely to the party, and He rewarded me with a glorious vista on the way home. God is good, He is so, so good Beloved.
I'm gonna be honest here- My flame's been flickering. I've been working a lot, and I've been feeling discouraged about how little time I'll have with friends and family before I leave (the date's August 8th, mark your calendars!). I've been worrying about buying stuff for my new dwelling place, worrying about not having enough time, worrying about missing people, worrying about money, worrying about moving out and living without my mom to answer all of my stupid questions. Worrying. Faltering, fretting, stressing, and retreating.
But God makes all things new. Miraculously, He's given me this whole evening to do with as I please. He's renewing my strength on this Sabbath to get through the coming week of work, work, and more work. I need His renewal every morning, but loves, He'll do it. He delights to be our strength.
Psalm 27, v 13-14 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Cheerio, mates. See you around!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
In which I offer comfort
Current Tunes: Tegan & Sara (Sainthood)
Current Plans: Finish Kendra's senior photos, study for World Lit final, watch Pretender
Current Excitement: This weekend/graduation
To sum up my life in one word: Stressssss! My mind never shuts up! To-do lists, calendars, meetings, projects, papers, exams, work, scheduling, editing, finishing, finalizing, printing, due dates, requirements, evaluations... My mind is spinning out of control. I just want to be DONE with finals and college and school and everything. Can I? Please?
Bah. I'm trying to manage everything and make sure I have time to unwind. But it's hard. What I REALLY need is some Jesus time. Every day I get more and more excited about going to IHOP, because there my days will be structured around HIM.
You know what's a bummer, literally? Discontent. I'm encountering a lot of people lately in this season of stress and change who just cannot see the bright side of things. It's a constant urge to grow up, get out, forget, and hate what's here. But HERE is good! I'm not speaking physically, because I'll be the first to say that MN is lame. I mean this MOMENT is good! These people you're currently with are good. They need you, what you have to offer.. I'm trying to remind myself of this as well. I'm ready to GO GO GO. But in a few months, most of us won't be here anymore. We're all going off to start our lives. And how are you going to feel when nothing's the same anymore? When everything you were used to is suddenly foreign ground?
Listen, you're here, in this moment, for a reason. You are in THIS place with THESE people at THIS time for a purpose. Rest in it, soak it up, and stop complaining! Let your heart find comfort in the God of all comfort, who knows your life's story because HE wrote it!
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3)
2 Corinthians is a brilliant book full of goodness. Read it.
Also, check out the band Castledoor. I think they are THE BEST.
And try to be contented.
Current Plans: Finish Kendra's senior photos, study for World Lit final, watch Pretender
Current Excitement: This weekend/graduation
To sum up my life in one word: Stressssss! My mind never shuts up! To-do lists, calendars, meetings, projects, papers, exams, work, scheduling, editing, finishing, finalizing, printing, due dates, requirements, evaluations... My mind is spinning out of control. I just want to be DONE with finals and college and school and everything. Can I? Please?
Bah. I'm trying to manage everything and make sure I have time to unwind. But it's hard. What I REALLY need is some Jesus time. Every day I get more and more excited about going to IHOP, because there my days will be structured around HIM.
You know what's a bummer, literally? Discontent. I'm encountering a lot of people lately in this season of stress and change who just cannot see the bright side of things. It's a constant urge to grow up, get out, forget, and hate what's here. But HERE is good! I'm not speaking physically, because I'll be the first to say that MN is lame. I mean this MOMENT is good! These people you're currently with are good. They need you, what you have to offer.. I'm trying to remind myself of this as well. I'm ready to GO GO GO. But in a few months, most of us won't be here anymore. We're all going off to start our lives. And how are you going to feel when nothing's the same anymore? When everything you were used to is suddenly foreign ground?
Listen, you're here, in this moment, for a reason. You are in THIS place with THESE people at THIS time for a purpose. Rest in it, soak it up, and stop complaining! Let your heart find comfort in the God of all comfort, who knows your life's story because HE wrote it!
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3)
2 Corinthians is a brilliant book full of goodness. Read it.
Also, check out the band Castledoor. I think they are THE BEST.
And try to be contented.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
In which I follow
Current Tunes: The Blow
Current Plans: Shutting out the world, editing, and have a snuggle with Jesus.
Current Excitement: The next four days! They're going to rock.
Hello imaginary friends.
I've been having a pretty rough few weeks here. I have this awful cough that keeps me up at night, so sleeping has been a struggle. I miss it soooo much! And on top of that, I'm stressed to the breaking point with school, momstuff, and all those to-do lists playing in loops in my head. Meow. But this weekend will bring me some peace... I hope. Or I might just be so busy that I forget about it all.
Tomorrow after classes I'm hopefully hanging out with my love Susie and seeing the play at the high school. Friday is Stillwater with friend Marissa! Saturday is Duluth with the Quadsquad. Imma show 'em the town. And Sunday, Mother's Day, will be a picnic with family and an evening with the birthday girl and my other bfffffffff, Sarah. Can't waaaait!
Then it's back to real life. One more week of classes, which includes two exams and a group project, then the week after that is FINALS, with three written finals and one group project, condensed into three days.
THEN I AM DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL!
Soooo excited.
Also I'm hoping to mail in my IHOP application next week. Ugh. I wish I could just go. I'm ready for my next life. Plus I need to really soak in some Jesus. My life has been TOO busy lately to absorb His glory fully, which causes me to be less stable. He stabilizes me!
Here's a verse that was shared in chapel today. It's at the beginning of Acts when Jesus is telling His disciples to go out and spread the Word. They ask Him what his plans are and if the Father will restore Israel. Jesus replied, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority" (Acts 1:7). I like this verse because it's a sharp reminder that it's not our place to know and understand God's plans for our lives! HE has all authority. He's already written everything down in His calendar. So we don't need to worry about it. God will not leave us hanging. He'll show up if we ask Him to.
Also, here's the chorus of one of the songs we sang. We got to sing it in spanish, which was SO COOL. I recognized it as 'my language.' But here it is in english-
"If you lead me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me I will go. If you heal me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, I will go. Yo ire."
That's what the cry of my heart is now. I don't know what the future holds, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing or living or loving or learning. But my God does, and my God is enough! So if He leads, will be right behind Him. And that is comfort.
<3
Current Plans: Shutting out the world, editing, and have a snuggle with Jesus.
Current Excitement: The next four days! They're going to rock.
Hello imaginary friends.
I've been having a pretty rough few weeks here. I have this awful cough that keeps me up at night, so sleeping has been a struggle. I miss it soooo much! And on top of that, I'm stressed to the breaking point with school, momstuff, and all those to-do lists playing in loops in my head. Meow. But this weekend will bring me some peace... I hope. Or I might just be so busy that I forget about it all.
Tomorrow after classes I'm hopefully hanging out with my love Susie and seeing the play at the high school. Friday is Stillwater with friend Marissa! Saturday is Duluth with the Quadsquad. Imma show 'em the town. And Sunday, Mother's Day, will be a picnic with family and an evening with the birthday girl and my other bfffffffff, Sarah. Can't waaaait!
Then it's back to real life. One more week of classes, which includes two exams and a group project, then the week after that is FINALS, with three written finals and one group project, condensed into three days.
THEN I AM DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL!
Soooo excited.
Also I'm hoping to mail in my IHOP application next week. Ugh. I wish I could just go. I'm ready for my next life. Plus I need to really soak in some Jesus. My life has been TOO busy lately to absorb His glory fully, which causes me to be less stable. He stabilizes me!
Here's a verse that was shared in chapel today. It's at the beginning of Acts when Jesus is telling His disciples to go out and spread the Word. They ask Him what his plans are and if the Father will restore Israel. Jesus replied, "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority" (Acts 1:7). I like this verse because it's a sharp reminder that it's not our place to know and understand God's plans for our lives! HE has all authority. He's already written everything down in His calendar. So we don't need to worry about it. God will not leave us hanging. He'll show up if we ask Him to.
Also, here's the chorus of one of the songs we sang. We got to sing it in spanish, which was SO COOL. I recognized it as 'my language.' But here it is in english-
"If you lead me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me I will go. If you heal me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, I will go. Yo ire."
That's what the cry of my heart is now. I don't know what the future holds, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing or living or loving or learning. But my God does, and my God is enough! So if He leads, will be right behind Him. And that is comfort.
<3
Sunday, April 18, 2010
In which I describe "The Prom"
Current Tunes: Regina Spektor
Current Plans: Whatever I feel like.
Current Excitement: ...
Meowww. I'm currently on a photo editing binge. I let myself get backed up. So. Mas.
Um. So prom was yesterday! Whew. There was a lot of build-up to that.
I had a really swell time getting ready with Sarah and Kendra. We had mac and cheese and watched Juno like we were sixteen again. It was enchanting. They looked SO gorgeous. Then there was a series of awkward moments. And dinner, which was nice but expensive. Then some deliberation, and off to THE PROM. It was nicely decorated. And I was really, really thrilled to see so many beautiful faces that I've been missing. Everyone looked really good! And I got some good dancing in. Exercise much? Bahah. I had a blast dancing with my amigos. It was a memorable evening.
I'm kind of frustrated today, because I've got to go over my Econ test and do some Econ homework. And I'm just fed up with that class. There's no way I can win. I hate feeling stupid. And this class makes me feel like an invertebrate. ugghhhh. I just want to cry a lot.
I thought I'd sleep well after last night. But my stupid brain wouldn't shut up, and I ended up waking up every few hours. And then I woke up slightly after nine and couldn't get back to sleep. So I'm still awake, but still bone tired. Today will consist of photoediting/uploading/organizing.. watching movies, reading, studying, homework, showering, napping?, and possibly some baking.
Also, I ate a new kind of apple today! A gala, I think it was. Def. not as good as Red Delicious. It was too... sandpapery and crumbly. But still pretty good. I'd gone a week or more without an apple, so at any rate I was thrilled to eat it! I also had some carrots. Trying to get my poor soul to wake up! I don't want today to be a total waste.
Hokay, that's it for now. Later folks.
<3
Current Plans: Whatever I feel like.
Current Excitement: ...
Meowww. I'm currently on a photo editing binge. I let myself get backed up. So. Mas.
Um. So prom was yesterday! Whew. There was a lot of build-up to that.
I had a really swell time getting ready with Sarah and Kendra. We had mac and cheese and watched Juno like we were sixteen again. It was enchanting. They looked SO gorgeous. Then there was a series of awkward moments. And dinner, which was nice but expensive. Then some deliberation, and off to THE PROM. It was nicely decorated. And I was really, really thrilled to see so many beautiful faces that I've been missing. Everyone looked really good! And I got some good dancing in. Exercise much? Bahah. I had a blast dancing with my amigos. It was a memorable evening.
I'm kind of frustrated today, because I've got to go over my Econ test and do some Econ homework. And I'm just fed up with that class. There's no way I can win. I hate feeling stupid. And this class makes me feel like an invertebrate. ugghhhh. I just want to cry a lot.
I thought I'd sleep well after last night. But my stupid brain wouldn't shut up, and I ended up waking up every few hours. And then I woke up slightly after nine and couldn't get back to sleep. So I'm still awake, but still bone tired. Today will consist of photoediting/uploading/organizing.. watching movies, reading, studying, homework, showering, napping?, and possibly some baking.
Also, I ate a new kind of apple today! A gala, I think it was. Def. not as good as Red Delicious. It was too... sandpapery and crumbly. But still pretty good. I'd gone a week or more without an apple, so at any rate I was thrilled to eat it! I also had some carrots. Trying to get my poor soul to wake up! I don't want today to be a total waste.
Hokay, that's it for now. Later folks.
<3
Friday, April 9, 2010
In which I return!
Current tunes: Superchick!
Current plans: laze about, get my hurr did, go to bank, evening with Kendra
Current excitement: The fact that the day is ALL MINE.
Heyyyyyy guysss.. Hopefully one or two of you still check this occasionally. Hahaha. There's been some stuff moving and going on in my life. Disappointments and frustrations along with joys and excitements. And a giant side of stress.
I got over the hurdle of my second Economics exam yesterday afternoon, which was a HUGE load off. That exam was overing over me like the angel of death. Bah. It was pretty killer, so we'll see how I do. I did well on my World Lit midterm though, which was an essay and an in-class exam. Got A's on both! That was nice.
Brennan was over yesterday. He's a bit ill, so he was kind of crabby, but extra snuggly! There was a while when he was tired where I just held him and he would just stare at everything around him, and then he'd just nuzzle his chubby little face into my chest. He's getting so big! And his smiles still brighten my life. I loooooooove him. He makes me babycrazy, though, which is probs a bit dangerous at this early stage of my life, lol.
We have had a bit of bad news here at home. We found out this week that my mom has breast cancer. This is an especially low blow considering she only just finished chemotherapy for her colon cancer two months ago. The doctors think that they have caught the cancer early enough, and her prognosis is very good. She will be having a surgery on the 26th to remove the lumps, and then she will have to have some radiation. But if they find out that she has the breast cancer gene (which would mean the cancer would just come back again), she might get a double mastectomy. It's ... I don't know... It's just a real bummer. I wish I could do it all for her, because she's been a real hero this last year already. But her unwavering faith in God is really an inspiration for me!
On a lighter note, prom is just over a week away! We got my date's tux last night.. He'll look... interesting. :D I'm suuuuper excited! There's still a few things I need to have wrapped up, though...
So this song by Superchick, "Alright" describes my feelings exactly a lot of the time. It's a good song to remind yourself that rough times don't last. Hopefully the lyrics will help you feel a little better!
"There's so much on my mind lately I can't make out my own thoughts anymore. I don't know where one begins and the other one ends. I wish that I could push a button and turn it off just for a little while. Long enough to take a breath, and then I know:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
There's so much that needs done lately I can't make out what's important anymore. I don't know where my needs begin and someone else's ends. I don't wanna let anybody down cuz I feel like I'm falling down when I do. But for now would someone else please volunteer to say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
Life is hard for everyone so let's blow it all off just for a little while. Let's take a break, it'll still be there when we get back. I always try to solve all my problems by working real hard, going just another mile. But every now and then I think we should let it all go and say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
This is my last verse, and it's for everyone feeling not so great today. We don't know what's coming just around the bend. It's always hard to believe in your own life, easier to find belief for a friend. So you hope for me, me for you, and together we will say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay."
<3
Current plans: laze about, get my hurr did, go to bank, evening with Kendra
Current excitement: The fact that the day is ALL MINE.
Heyyyyyy guysss.. Hopefully one or two of you still check this occasionally. Hahaha. There's been some stuff moving and going on in my life. Disappointments and frustrations along with joys and excitements. And a giant side of stress.
I got over the hurdle of my second Economics exam yesterday afternoon, which was a HUGE load off. That exam was overing over me like the angel of death. Bah. It was pretty killer, so we'll see how I do. I did well on my World Lit midterm though, which was an essay and an in-class exam. Got A's on both! That was nice.
Brennan was over yesterday. He's a bit ill, so he was kind of crabby, but extra snuggly! There was a while when he was tired where I just held him and he would just stare at everything around him, and then he'd just nuzzle his chubby little face into my chest. He's getting so big! And his smiles still brighten my life. I loooooooove him. He makes me babycrazy, though, which is probs a bit dangerous at this early stage of my life, lol.
We have had a bit of bad news here at home. We found out this week that my mom has breast cancer. This is an especially low blow considering she only just finished chemotherapy for her colon cancer two months ago. The doctors think that they have caught the cancer early enough, and her prognosis is very good. She will be having a surgery on the 26th to remove the lumps, and then she will have to have some radiation. But if they find out that she has the breast cancer gene (which would mean the cancer would just come back again), she might get a double mastectomy. It's ... I don't know... It's just a real bummer. I wish I could do it all for her, because she's been a real hero this last year already. But her unwavering faith in God is really an inspiration for me!
On a lighter note, prom is just over a week away! We got my date's tux last night.. He'll look... interesting. :D I'm suuuuper excited! There's still a few things I need to have wrapped up, though...
So this song by Superchick, "Alright" describes my feelings exactly a lot of the time. It's a good song to remind yourself that rough times don't last. Hopefully the lyrics will help you feel a little better!
"There's so much on my mind lately I can't make out my own thoughts anymore. I don't know where one begins and the other one ends. I wish that I could push a button and turn it off just for a little while. Long enough to take a breath, and then I know:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
There's so much that needs done lately I can't make out what's important anymore. I don't know where my needs begin and someone else's ends. I don't wanna let anybody down cuz I feel like I'm falling down when I do. But for now would someone else please volunteer to say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
Life is hard for everyone so let's blow it all off just for a little while. Let's take a break, it'll still be there when we get back. I always try to solve all my problems by working real hard, going just another mile. But every now and then I think we should let it all go and say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay.
This is my last verse, and it's for everyone feeling not so great today. We don't know what's coming just around the bend. It's always hard to believe in your own life, easier to find belief for a friend. So you hope for me, me for you, and together we will say:
It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay. It'll be okay. It'll be alright. It'll be okay, hey yeah, it'll be alright. It'll be okay."
<3
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
In which I am excited about His love
Current Tunes: Snow Patrol
Current Plans: Do some reading for Soc, watch the Office, shower, sleep.
Current excitement: Senior photoshoot tomorrow! My first in awhile. ;)
Hola mis compadres. I've been busy, to say the least. I had a nice weekend- went to MOA wiff ma gurls, and my sister's bridal shower was on Sunday. Sarah, Koby, and I went to EpicLife Church before Bridgewood Sunday morning and it was cool to see everyone who used to go to Bridgewood. I rather miss all of their sweet faces. EpicLife seems like a neat place and I'd like to go back!
Yesterday (Monday) was super busy... class, photoshoot forkicks with Shelby, work, then worship practice till 9:45. I was only home during the day long enough to take a quick shower. But the photoshoot was suuuuper fun! I'm also super joyful that Spring is arrived. I HAVEN'T WORN SOCKS FOR SEVERAL DAYS!! That is a HUUUUUGE deal to me. Also, the swamp in my backyard is alive with billions of chatty frogs and toads. They never stop making noise. It's incredible how much they have to say.
Anyways, so the Holy Spirit's been talking to me recently about His love and mercy. And how tremendous they are. I'm only beginning to comprehend. A song that gets me every. single. time. is the song "How He Loves." The David Crowder Band sings it, and we sing it in church/chapel alla time. Listen toooo ittt... I'm srs. It helps to put His love in perspective... "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us, oh, how He loves us..."
Some verses that I've been really focusing on lately are Romans 5:8 ("But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."), Psalm 65:3 ("when we were overwhelmed by sings, you forgave our transgressions."), and Romans 6:14 ("For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."), as well as my favorite, Hosea 2. All of these verses center on how God loves us DESPITE, IN SPITE OF, IN THE FACE OF our sins. Our dirty secrets, our hidden shames, our painful memories and swallowing guilt. He still loves us. It's one of those things my head knows, but my heart is still trying to figure out. This concept is something that I'm really trying to grasp right now, because I'm commonly deceived by the Deceiver into thinking that my past mistakes make me unloveable by the Uncreated Creator. Although these verses say that God loves us even when we sin, I think He's leading me in the direction that while yes, He loves us even though we're sinners, He loves us too much to let us continue to sin. Because sin separates us from Him! It's a process, it's a developing relationship. I will be the first to admit that I have a heck of a lot to learn. But thankfully, my Teacher is patient, wise, and merciful. And awesome!
Just wanted to share with you where I am right now with God. It's an every day effort, amigos. It's not easy; it's called the Narrow Way for a reason. But He is GOOD. And He's in control, thankfully. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully.
Also, if any of you are like me and are wondering about God's plan & direction for your life, here's an encouraging verse:
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it' " (Isaiah 30:21).
Peace.
<3
:D
Current Plans: Do some reading for Soc, watch the Office, shower, sleep.
Current excitement: Senior photoshoot tomorrow! My first in awhile. ;)
Hola mis compadres. I've been busy, to say the least. I had a nice weekend- went to MOA wiff ma gurls, and my sister's bridal shower was on Sunday. Sarah, Koby, and I went to EpicLife Church before Bridgewood Sunday morning and it was cool to see everyone who used to go to Bridgewood. I rather miss all of their sweet faces. EpicLife seems like a neat place and I'd like to go back!
Yesterday (Monday) was super busy... class, photoshoot forkicks with Shelby, work, then worship practice till 9:45. I was only home during the day long enough to take a quick shower. But the photoshoot was suuuuper fun! I'm also super joyful that Spring is arrived. I HAVEN'T WORN SOCKS FOR SEVERAL DAYS!! That is a HUUUUUGE deal to me. Also, the swamp in my backyard is alive with billions of chatty frogs and toads. They never stop making noise. It's incredible how much they have to say.
Anyways, so the Holy Spirit's been talking to me recently about His love and mercy. And how tremendous they are. I'm only beginning to comprehend. A song that gets me every. single. time. is the song "How He Loves." The David Crowder Band sings it, and we sing it in church/chapel alla time. Listen toooo ittt... I'm srs. It helps to put His love in perspective... "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us, oh, how He loves us..."
Some verses that I've been really focusing on lately are Romans 5:8 ("But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."), Psalm 65:3 ("when we were overwhelmed by sings, you forgave our transgressions."), and Romans 6:14 ("For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."), as well as my favorite, Hosea 2. All of these verses center on how God loves us DESPITE, IN SPITE OF, IN THE FACE OF our sins. Our dirty secrets, our hidden shames, our painful memories and swallowing guilt. He still loves us. It's one of those things my head knows, but my heart is still trying to figure out. This concept is something that I'm really trying to grasp right now, because I'm commonly deceived by the Deceiver into thinking that my past mistakes make me unloveable by the Uncreated Creator. Although these verses say that God loves us even when we sin, I think He's leading me in the direction that while yes, He loves us even though we're sinners, He loves us too much to let us continue to sin. Because sin separates us from Him! It's a process, it's a developing relationship. I will be the first to admit that I have a heck of a lot to learn. But thankfully, my Teacher is patient, wise, and merciful. And awesome!
Just wanted to share with you where I am right now with God. It's an every day effort, amigos. It's not easy; it's called the Narrow Way for a reason. But He is GOOD. And He's in control, thankfully. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully.
Also, if any of you are like me and are wondering about God's plan & direction for your life, here's an encouraging verse:
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it' " (Isaiah 30:21).
Peace.
<3
:D
Sunday, March 21, 2010
In which I am frustrated
Current Tunes: Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Current Excitement: Thrifting on Tues with some fantastic girls.
Current Plans: Movie, reading (Great Expectations by the one and only Charles Dickens... we'll see how that goes...), get ready for school in the morning, sleeeeeep... hopefully.
Baahhhh. Spring break is over!! I hardly did a thing. I swear. Oh well. Just... like two more months of classes then I GRADUATE. Which means summer, which means so much reading, sleeping, playing, hugging, singing, and laughing. And photographing. Bah. So today was a BIT productive... I worked on my FMA application, read the novel for my JapLit class (Silence by Shusaku Endo), tried a new cookie recipe that my dad loved, finished a book that I love (Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks), and practiced guitar. I stayed home from church and felt bad about it, but I really needed that extra hour of silence to help fuel me for the day ahead. I'm in a phase right now where I can't function unless I've had some solid Shonna time. I hope it blows over soon, because when in this phase I tend to be extra irritable and self-critical. And a bit lazy, to be truthful.
I am a little frustrated currently. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm hungry and my room is a mess. And there are a few people that I dearly long to have a conversation with, but there are limitations on many of my relationships. Therefore I keep quiet. I apologize for being vague, my head is a mess ahora. I just didn't have a good night last night. One of my worst lately, in fact. If any of you reading this enjoy being prayer warriors, just pray for me, please. I just need a little faith. I really, really need to clean my room. Maybe tomorrow. I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to start painting my new room over break (my dad neglected his fatherly duties, but he had a stressful week)... but that's fine. I love my current room anyways, so the wait won't be agonizing.
I've overbooked myself this week, I think. I hate that, when I fill every free space with people, promises, and responsibilities. But then again, I've been alone too much lately, and could use a bit of busy productivity and socializing.
Well, just one more week of my FB fast! I'm quite excited to be reconnected. I feel like I have NO idea what's happening in anyone's lives. No one calls or emails anymore. Texting is insufficient. I am out of the loop... which is not fun for a gal like me who loves her friends genuinely.
Okay, imma go gorge myself on fresh baked cookies, lose myself in a film, and gear up for a freaking busy week. I pray God gives me the grace to get through it!
This is what I looked like all day. I'm sitting in my new room, because I like the emptiness. It's where I keep my guitar now.
Read Psalm 139.
Current Excitement: Thrifting on Tues with some fantastic girls.
Current Plans: Movie, reading (Great Expectations by the one and only Charles Dickens... we'll see how that goes...), get ready for school in the morning, sleeeeeep... hopefully.
Baahhhh. Spring break is over!! I hardly did a thing. I swear. Oh well. Just... like two more months of classes then I GRADUATE. Which means summer, which means so much reading, sleeping, playing, hugging, singing, and laughing. And photographing. Bah. So today was a BIT productive... I worked on my FMA application, read the novel for my JapLit class (Silence by Shusaku Endo), tried a new cookie recipe that my dad loved, finished a book that I love (Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks), and practiced guitar. I stayed home from church and felt bad about it, but I really needed that extra hour of silence to help fuel me for the day ahead. I'm in a phase right now where I can't function unless I've had some solid Shonna time. I hope it blows over soon, because when in this phase I tend to be extra irritable and self-critical. And a bit lazy, to be truthful.
I am a little frustrated currently. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm hungry and my room is a mess. And there are a few people that I dearly long to have a conversation with, but there are limitations on many of my relationships. Therefore I keep quiet. I apologize for being vague, my head is a mess ahora. I just didn't have a good night last night. One of my worst lately, in fact. If any of you reading this enjoy being prayer warriors, just pray for me, please. I just need a little faith. I really, really need to clean my room. Maybe tomorrow. I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to start painting my new room over break (my dad neglected his fatherly duties, but he had a stressful week)... but that's fine. I love my current room anyways, so the wait won't be agonizing.
I've overbooked myself this week, I think. I hate that, when I fill every free space with people, promises, and responsibilities. But then again, I've been alone too much lately, and could use a bit of busy productivity and socializing.
Well, just one more week of my FB fast! I'm quite excited to be reconnected. I feel like I have NO idea what's happening in anyone's lives. No one calls or emails anymore. Texting is insufficient. I am out of the loop... which is not fun for a gal like me who loves her friends genuinely.
Okay, imma go gorge myself on fresh baked cookies, lose myself in a film, and gear up for a freaking busy week. I pray God gives me the grace to get through it!
This is what I looked like all day. I'm sitting in my new room, because I like the emptiness. It's where I keep my guitar now.
Read Psalm 139.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
In which I love Brennan and Bethany
Current Tunes: Handel's Messiah
Current Plans: Talk to Brennan, run some errands, then choir concert!
Current Excitement: I ordered my prom dress yesterday!
Bahhh. So mum's over yonder talking to Brennan. He is over today, and he's a grump! Fussy baby. He screamed at me for nearly half an hour instead of going to sleep. I was grateful for mum to come home and take over his care. So now he's crying to her. Hahaha. But I love him still. Before he became a menace he was quite animated and telling me all about his day. He's such a funny baby. We are listening to Handel's Messiah because it's one of the few things that he'll quiet down enough to listen to. He looooooves music. Also we were watching Hidalgo together for a bit and he enjoyed that. Gotta love Viggo Mortenson.
So I'm on spring break, but it's not very break-y. So far I've worked, went prom dress shopping, babysat, and worked. I have had some spare moments for reading. But not enough time to get errythang done! Some goals I have/had for spring break include(d): painting my new room, cleaning my room, beginning the process of moving some stuff downstairs, practicing guitar, filling out my IHOP application, working on my IHOP audition, finishing all the books/movies currently on loan to me from the library, watch Horatio Hornblower, catching up with/finishing homework, and... I need to buy shampoo. Today. So... Currently I have no plans for tomorrow, so maybe I can make it a somewhat hermit day and get a bunch of stuff done. I work again saturday, and sunday will be church/homework...
I honestly don't feel like I'm on any sort of break. My classes usually just fill in the gaps between my already busy schedule. I guess the biggest bonus is getting to sleep in the past two mornings.
Alrighty. So lately I've been on a serious Bethany Dillon kick. Every song of hers that I listen to just knocks me off of my feet lyrically, musically, vocally, and spiritually. I love the way she talks about God, and to God. Here's a verse from a song I'm digging called "Let Your Light Shine." I think it's off her most recent album, but I'm not sure...
'The Calmer of the Sea here in this room with me
So gently welcoming the weakest things in me.
You are the blood over the door of my heart.
What pain you spared me from, how could I know it all?'
The line about the blood over the door of her heart is a Biblical reference to the feast of the passover. When Moses was trying to convince Pharoh to let the Israelites go, Pharoh's heart was hardened and as a result God sent several plagues over Egypt. One one particular night, God told Moses to have all of his followers paint their doorframes with lamb's blood: a sacrifice. That night, God passed through Egypt and killed the firstborn of every household. If a home had lamb's blood on the door, then he would pass by them and leave them alone. Hence, the Passover. (Exodus 12:1-13).
In the song, Bethany writes that Jesus is the blood over the door of her heart. She's saying that Jesus is the sacrifice, and His blood saves her from death and Hell. So, thanks Jesus, for saving us. I also love this verse for the imagery of God being in the same room with us. The creator of the WORLD, of the UNIVERSE, loves to hang out with US. One on one. AND He loves the weakest things in us.
Well, the whole song is great, just like all her other songs. Soooooo check her out, pals!
Mum's trying to force Brennan to watch 'her soaps' with her. Poor baby. I better go rescue him.
<3
Current Plans: Talk to Brennan, run some errands, then choir concert!
Current Excitement: I ordered my prom dress yesterday!
Bahhh. So mum's over yonder talking to Brennan. He is over today, and he's a grump! Fussy baby. He screamed at me for nearly half an hour instead of going to sleep. I was grateful for mum to come home and take over his care. So now he's crying to her. Hahaha. But I love him still. Before he became a menace he was quite animated and telling me all about his day. He's such a funny baby. We are listening to Handel's Messiah because it's one of the few things that he'll quiet down enough to listen to. He looooooves music. Also we were watching Hidalgo together for a bit and he enjoyed that. Gotta love Viggo Mortenson.
So I'm on spring break, but it's not very break-y. So far I've worked, went prom dress shopping, babysat, and worked. I have had some spare moments for reading. But not enough time to get errythang done! Some goals I have/had for spring break include(d): painting my new room, cleaning my room, beginning the process of moving some stuff downstairs, practicing guitar, filling out my IHOP application, working on my IHOP audition, finishing all the books/movies currently on loan to me from the library, watch Horatio Hornblower, catching up with/finishing homework, and... I need to buy shampoo. Today. So... Currently I have no plans for tomorrow, so maybe I can make it a somewhat hermit day and get a bunch of stuff done. I work again saturday, and sunday will be church/homework...
I honestly don't feel like I'm on any sort of break. My classes usually just fill in the gaps between my already busy schedule. I guess the biggest bonus is getting to sleep in the past two mornings.
Alrighty. So lately I've been on a serious Bethany Dillon kick. Every song of hers that I listen to just knocks me off of my feet lyrically, musically, vocally, and spiritually. I love the way she talks about God, and to God. Here's a verse from a song I'm digging called "Let Your Light Shine." I think it's off her most recent album, but I'm not sure...
'The Calmer of the Sea here in this room with me
So gently welcoming the weakest things in me.
You are the blood over the door of my heart.
What pain you spared me from, how could I know it all?'
The line about the blood over the door of her heart is a Biblical reference to the feast of the passover. When Moses was trying to convince Pharoh to let the Israelites go, Pharoh's heart was hardened and as a result God sent several plagues over Egypt. One one particular night, God told Moses to have all of his followers paint their doorframes with lamb's blood: a sacrifice. That night, God passed through Egypt and killed the firstborn of every household. If a home had lamb's blood on the door, then he would pass by them and leave them alone. Hence, the Passover. (Exodus 12:1-13).
In the song, Bethany writes that Jesus is the blood over the door of her heart. She's saying that Jesus is the sacrifice, and His blood saves her from death and Hell. So, thanks Jesus, for saving us. I also love this verse for the imagery of God being in the same room with us. The creator of the WORLD, of the UNIVERSE, loves to hang out with US. One on one. AND He loves the weakest things in us.
Well, the whole song is great, just like all her other songs. Soooooo check her out, pals!
Mum's trying to force Brennan to watch 'her soaps' with her. Poor baby. I better go rescue him.
<3
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
In which I discuss illness and redecorating.
Hola mis compadres. I have confirmed that I have at least three readers, so that's great! How do you guys loooove the new layout? Idk I'm feeling black and white right now. I am SO cool. Anyways.
Current Tunes: Misty Edwards
Current Plans: Well. I should be sleeping. AHORA.
Current Excitement: I have to be honest with you. I've been bitten by the prom bug.
Soooo. Because I recently turned 80, my body is quite accustomed to a schedule. And because my schedule was thrown to the wind this weekend, my body thanked me by getting me reeeaaallyyyy sick. It started with a nasty sore throat which I originally attributed to all the crying and singing, but then it progressed into a nasty headcold and cough. So please pray that I feel better as it is seriously compromising my functionality.
Ummm. What else is new in my life? I've been looking online at bedding for my new room and prom dresses all day. I'm so excited about life right now! Also, I decided I'm going to paint the new room a LOVELY minty green. Like from the seventies. Oh, I have such a vision. The next order of business is to figure out how I'm going to fit three bookshelves in that tiny room. Mum suggested I could maybe put some things in the nook off the family room so I may take her up on that. Bah.
So the illness is going around at work, apparently. Because on Monday and tonight I had to work alone (there are usually two shelvers working). On the one hand, I like working alone because I am MISS INDEPENDENT. But on the other hand, it's really stressful to do clean-up for the whole library, esp. when the media is piling up and those Q books won't stop coming! Lol, library lingo. Anyways. I hope I don't have to work alone on Saturday! I've got the 8-hour shift that day... woohoo? Money, I guess.
Speaking of which, I need to go grocery shopping. But I definitely will NOT be going to Walmart. Remind me to tell you that story sometime.
So tonight, I planned to snuggle in bed and watch the Office... But on a whim I clicked on a link on my Twitter that took me to the video archives of the Student Awakening at IHOP. I haven't watched the live feed much lately, so I tried to catch up by watching some of the testimonies. It was soooo satisfying to hear all these fantastic stories of healings-- both physical and emotional! People are SERIOUSLY being healed from back pain, asthma, cancer (!), arthritis, and all sorts of pain as well as depression, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, anxiety, and sexual addictions. It's so fantastic to hear about. Here's the link to the live feed: http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=100006525 PLEASE watch some testimonies and get ready to have your mind blown by the Holy Spirit!!
I really need to start blogging more, because errythang I have to say never fits in one post alone. I still have so much more to tell you guys!! God is moving in my heart. He's really healing the wounds. I'm so excited about the absolute freedom there is in His love. And you know what's even more awesome? He LOVES to heal us! It's not a burden for Him, or a hassle. He DELIGHTS in restoring us. So you don't have to feel guilty or shameful about asking Him for some help. He wants us to run to Him with our burdens, to lay them at the cross. So take a chance.
Here's the chorus I love from the Relient K song "Forget and Not Slow Down": I'd rather forget and not slow down than gather regret for the things I can't change now. If I become what I can't accept, resurrect the saint from within the wretch. Pour over me and wash my hands of it. 'Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through what I could have done better, but what good do what-ifs do?
It's a reeeeaaalllyyyy great song & album so have a listen.
That's about it for now, folks. Though I only said a fraction of what I started out to say. Can you believe it? There is SO MUCH stuff in my head. I'll be back sooner than later.
<3
Current Tunes: Misty Edwards
Current Plans: Well. I should be sleeping. AHORA.
Current Excitement: I have to be honest with you. I've been bitten by the prom bug.
Soooo. Because I recently turned 80, my body is quite accustomed to a schedule. And because my schedule was thrown to the wind this weekend, my body thanked me by getting me reeeaaallyyyy sick. It started with a nasty sore throat which I originally attributed to all the crying and singing, but then it progressed into a nasty headcold and cough. So please pray that I feel better as it is seriously compromising my functionality.
Ummm. What else is new in my life? I've been looking online at bedding for my new room and prom dresses all day. I'm so excited about life right now! Also, I decided I'm going to paint the new room a LOVELY minty green. Like from the seventies. Oh, I have such a vision. The next order of business is to figure out how I'm going to fit three bookshelves in that tiny room. Mum suggested I could maybe put some things in the nook off the family room so I may take her up on that. Bah.
So the illness is going around at work, apparently. Because on Monday and tonight I had to work alone (there are usually two shelvers working). On the one hand, I like working alone because I am MISS INDEPENDENT. But on the other hand, it's really stressful to do clean-up for the whole library, esp. when the media is piling up and those Q books won't stop coming! Lol, library lingo. Anyways. I hope I don't have to work alone on Saturday! I've got the 8-hour shift that day... woohoo? Money, I guess.
Speaking of which, I need to go grocery shopping. But I definitely will NOT be going to Walmart. Remind me to tell you that story sometime.
So tonight, I planned to snuggle in bed and watch the Office... But on a whim I clicked on a link on my Twitter that took me to the video archives of the Student Awakening at IHOP. I haven't watched the live feed much lately, so I tried to catch up by watching some of the testimonies. It was soooo satisfying to hear all these fantastic stories of healings-- both physical and emotional! People are SERIOUSLY being healed from back pain, asthma, cancer (!), arthritis, and all sorts of pain as well as depression, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, anxiety, and sexual addictions. It's so fantastic to hear about. Here's the link to the live feed: http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=100006525 PLEASE watch some testimonies and get ready to have your mind blown by the Holy Spirit!!
I really need to start blogging more, because errythang I have to say never fits in one post alone. I still have so much more to tell you guys!! God is moving in my heart. He's really healing the wounds. I'm so excited about the absolute freedom there is in His love. And you know what's even more awesome? He LOVES to heal us! It's not a burden for Him, or a hassle. He DELIGHTS in restoring us. So you don't have to feel guilty or shameful about asking Him for some help. He wants us to run to Him with our burdens, to lay them at the cross. So take a chance.
Here's the chorus I love from the Relient K song "Forget and Not Slow Down": I'd rather forget and not slow down than gather regret for the things I can't change now. If I become what I can't accept, resurrect the saint from within the wretch. Pour over me and wash my hands of it. 'Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through what I could have done better, but what good do what-ifs do?
It's a reeeeaaalllyyyy great song & album so have a listen.
That's about it for now, folks. Though I only said a fraction of what I started out to say. Can you believe it? There is SO MUCH stuff in my head. I'll be back sooner than later.Sweet dreams my darlings.
<3
Sunday, March 7, 2010
In which I recount a weekend
Current Tunes: Relient K's "Forget and Not Slow Down" album. I could listen to this a thousand times. And I do.
Plans for the evening: Write a soc paper, relax, talk to Jesus, watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Current Excitement: Skipping class tomorrow to babysit Brennan!
Mother of pearl on a Sunday. I am flushed. Absolutely shattered.
So this weekend was good. No, that's not correct. More like INTENSE and DRAINING. Whew.
I went up to Duluth this weekend for a Catch the Fire conference run by Generation Revival from TCHOP. I stayed with Kaitlin at the UMD dorms (she's a super host, btw), and the church where the conference was at was like 15 blocks away. A short drive. Or 'jaunt,' as they say at the college. Haha. Anyways. I loved driving around Duluth because I feel really comfortable about it because I know my way around quite well. And it gives me practice with city driving/ one way streets.
So the conference was cool. There weren't loads of people there, I guess. Not as many as I thought there'd be. Also I felt awkward because I didn't really know anyone. The worship was fantastic and I liked all of the speakers. There was a lot of food for thought. But I still felt really... I don't know... uncomfortable and out of place. Like I didn't belong there. And my heart was being attacked by the Enemy. So the first night and most of the second day I just kind of observed. I tried to get into it and meet with the Holy Spirit but there was a barrier (isn't there always with me?). So I just read my Psalms and smiled. And cried. I cried a lot. I don't know why. The tears just leaked out. Guh. Hormones much?
Anyways. Saturday night was different. The Holy Spirit fell on that place. I just wanted to stay in His presence forever. It was glorious. Everyone was going crazy for God. Which I loved to see. Anyways. Shonna needs to work on some things. As usual. The road to perfection and holiness is never ending.
Between sessions I got a chance to wander around my favorite city. Photographed some ducks. And got hot chocolate from Caribou. Twice. And I sat on a bench in the glorious weather and read Make Love, Make War by... someone who I forget. The guy who wrote "Come, Now is the Time to Worship." Anyways it's about the worship movement and I'm really excited to read it. Which reminds me I need to get my application/audition stuff done for FMA, like, yesterday. Guhhhh. Obstacles. Also me and the gals + Logan ate at Hell's Kitchen/Burger. I got a corn dog that looked more like a barnacle that I ate half of. And I the next morning I ate brunch at the U and there were CARROTS!
So. I basically read Psalms all weekend. I feel like David and I had a lot of similarities in our emotional ranges. And such.
My favorite from the weekend is Psalm 139. It's a classic; read it now.
Here's an excerpt (v. 7-10):
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
On a sad note, a dear friend of mine lost her mother this past Friday. I pray that God gives them strength and supernatural comfort during this time. I cannot begin to imagine. I'm going to go hug my mother.
<3
Plans for the evening: Write a soc paper, relax, talk to Jesus, watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Current Excitement: Skipping class tomorrow to babysit Brennan!
Mother of pearl on a Sunday. I am flushed. Absolutely shattered.
So this weekend was good. No, that's not correct. More like INTENSE and DRAINING. Whew.
I went up to Duluth this weekend for a Catch the Fire conference run by Generation Revival from TCHOP. I stayed with Kaitlin at the UMD dorms (she's a super host, btw), and the church where the conference was at was like 15 blocks away. A short drive. Or 'jaunt,' as they say at the college. Haha. Anyways. I loved driving around Duluth because I feel really comfortable about it because I know my way around quite well. And it gives me practice with city driving/ one way streets.
So the conference was cool. There weren't loads of people there, I guess. Not as many as I thought there'd be. Also I felt awkward because I didn't really know anyone. The worship was fantastic and I liked all of the speakers. There was a lot of food for thought. But I still felt really... I don't know... uncomfortable and out of place. Like I didn't belong there. And my heart was being attacked by the Enemy. So the first night and most of the second day I just kind of observed. I tried to get into it and meet with the Holy Spirit but there was a barrier (isn't there always with me?). So I just read my Psalms and smiled. And cried. I cried a lot. I don't know why. The tears just leaked out. Guh. Hormones much?
Anyways. Saturday night was different. The Holy Spirit fell on that place. I just wanted to stay in His presence forever. It was glorious. Everyone was going crazy for God. Which I loved to see. Anyways. Shonna needs to work on some things. As usual. The road to perfection and holiness is never ending.
Between sessions I got a chance to wander around my favorite city. Photographed some ducks. And got hot chocolate from Caribou. Twice. And I sat on a bench in the glorious weather and read Make Love, Make War by... someone who I forget. The guy who wrote "Come, Now is the Time to Worship." Anyways it's about the worship movement and I'm really excited to read it. Which reminds me I need to get my application/audition stuff done for FMA, like, yesterday. Guhhhh. Obstacles. Also me and the gals + Logan ate at Hell's Kitchen/Burger. I got a corn dog that looked more like a barnacle that I ate half of. And I the next morning I ate brunch at the U and there were CARROTS!
So. I basically read Psalms all weekend. I feel like David and I had a lot of similarities in our emotional ranges. And such.
My favorite from the weekend is Psalm 139. It's a classic; read it now.
Here's an excerpt (v. 7-10):
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
On a sad note, a dear friend of mine lost her mother this past Friday. I pray that God gives them strength and supernatural comfort during this time. I cannot begin to imagine. I'm going to go hug my mother.
<3
Sunday, February 28, 2010
In which I avoid doing homework
Current tunes: The Script (got their cd from the library and CANNOT stop playing it.)
Plans for the evening: Reading, reading, and more reading. Maybe watch a film.
Current excitement: Ummmm... errrr... NEXT WEEKEND, woot.
So hey. I know it's been awhile. A weekish? Sorry for that. I can't explain it.
First off, HOLY CRAP, SARAH TURNER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I LOVE YOU TO A MILLION TINY PIECES. Mmm.
My baby is 18 today. Which makes me reflexively nostalgic. I remember daydreaming with her about turning 18, and how fabulous it would be to have so much freedom. We were so different back then. Man. I fell in love with this girl in eighth grade, and she's been by my side ever since. I never thought I was worth a best friend who would stick around, but she proved me wrong. I am a lucky, lucky lady to know and love Sarah Turner. I wish you the best, baby! And someday I will write a song just for you, princess.
So whew, this week has been such a rolleerrrrcoaster. I've been spending a lot of time in my thoughts, which could be either a good or a bad thing, depending what's occupying my mind. There are a lot of things I'd like to change about my life, things I need to work on, things I need to work harder on, and things I need to say goodbye to once and for all. I'm excited to move into my sister's old room in a week or so, because I feel like being in a new environment (ie the basement) will change my perspective. Does that make sense? (She asks the great wide silence).
Today I learned some things about my old youth group, which reminded me why it's my OLD youth group. But boy, do I have a lot of opinions about it. I guess I need a good reminder that not everyone sees things my way. And it's not my place to try and fix something that doesn't even concern me. But I feel really upset about it. I just wish that that youth group could be more like the one I fell in love with the summer after seventh grade, when my life began in earnest. I guess the best I can do is just pray about it, and hope that God takes control of the various situations, relationships, and dynamics. Because in the end, that's what youth group should be about. Not socializing, not controlling young minds, not competing, playing games, or giving them somewhere to be. It needs to be about Jesus Christ, the singular saviour. If you can get to the root of that, to the root of that love, then you're golden, and your petty grudges, power struggles, and minor differences will melt away into the light of His glory. Just stop being unfocused. There are bigger things to worry about than you. [Sarah, I am really, really proud of you.]
This school week will be tough, because I've got a few quizzes and projects due. But as long as I stay on top of things, I'm sure I'll be fine. I just wish I could spend more time with Him. It's so stupid, in light of who He is, but when I get stressed, it always seems that the first thing to go is time with Him. And sometimes I sit before Him, and I feel like I simply can't speak the words that should be spoken. I need some Relient K really bad about now. I'm such a girl.
But God hasn't backed down in His "My Creation is Beautiful" campaign. Have you SEEN the moon tonight?!?!? And the sunsets... glorious. Somehow, driving in that fading sunlight makes me feel like I've got it all under control. But really it's God pulling the strings, for which I'm so, so, SO thankful. I would drown without Him.
My prayer for you tonight comes from Ephesians 4:17b and on, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Okay, I'm off to get a jump start on my homework. Love to you, whoever you are!
<3
Plans for the evening: Reading, reading, and more reading. Maybe watch a film.
Current excitement: Ummmm... errrr... NEXT WEEKEND, woot.
So hey. I know it's been awhile. A weekish? Sorry for that. I can't explain it.
First off, HOLY CRAP, SARAH TURNER, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I LOVE YOU TO A MILLION TINY PIECES. Mmm.
My baby is 18 today. Which makes me reflexively nostalgic. I remember daydreaming with her about turning 18, and how fabulous it would be to have so much freedom. We were so different back then. Man. I fell in love with this girl in eighth grade, and she's been by my side ever since. I never thought I was worth a best friend who would stick around, but she proved me wrong. I am a lucky, lucky lady to know and love Sarah Turner. I wish you the best, baby! And someday I will write a song just for you, princess.
So whew, this week has been such a rolleerrrrcoaster. I've been spending a lot of time in my thoughts, which could be either a good or a bad thing, depending what's occupying my mind. There are a lot of things I'd like to change about my life, things I need to work on, things I need to work harder on, and things I need to say goodbye to once and for all. I'm excited to move into my sister's old room in a week or so, because I feel like being in a new environment (ie the basement) will change my perspective. Does that make sense? (She asks the great wide silence).
Today I learned some things about my old youth group, which reminded me why it's my OLD youth group. But boy, do I have a lot of opinions about it. I guess I need a good reminder that not everyone sees things my way. And it's not my place to try and fix something that doesn't even concern me. But I feel really upset about it. I just wish that that youth group could be more like the one I fell in love with the summer after seventh grade, when my life began in earnest. I guess the best I can do is just pray about it, and hope that God takes control of the various situations, relationships, and dynamics. Because in the end, that's what youth group should be about. Not socializing, not controlling young minds, not competing, playing games, or giving them somewhere to be. It needs to be about Jesus Christ, the singular saviour. If you can get to the root of that, to the root of that love, then you're golden, and your petty grudges, power struggles, and minor differences will melt away into the light of His glory. Just stop being unfocused. There are bigger things to worry about than you. [Sarah, I am really, really proud of you.]
This school week will be tough, because I've got a few quizzes and projects due. But as long as I stay on top of things, I'm sure I'll be fine. I just wish I could spend more time with Him. It's so stupid, in light of who He is, but when I get stressed, it always seems that the first thing to go is time with Him. And sometimes I sit before Him, and I feel like I simply can't speak the words that should be spoken. I need some Relient K really bad about now. I'm such a girl.
But God hasn't backed down in His "My Creation is Beautiful" campaign. Have you SEEN the moon tonight?!?!? And the sunsets... glorious. Somehow, driving in that fading sunlight makes me feel like I've got it all under control. But really it's God pulling the strings, for which I'm so, so, SO thankful. I would drown without Him.
My prayer for you tonight comes from Ephesians 4:17b and on, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Okay, I'm off to get a jump start on my homework. Love to you, whoever you are!
<3
Monday, February 22, 2010
In which I illuminate Hosea 2
Current Tunes: Laura Hackett
Plans for the evening: a Michael Cera film in bed.
Current excitement: ....sleeping?
Hola all. Oldest sister informed me on Sunday that because I tagged people in my FB note about this blog, my privacy settings were disregarded and all sorts of creepers had a look. (Creepers like my family, incidentally). So now I feel less inhibited. But I'll try to get over that.
Today was stuuuuupid. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm convinced that I am 80 years old and have arthritis, and as a result I kept waking up in the middle of the night with a VERY PAINFUL shoulder. I'm dying. Jokejokejoke. Anyways. And Soc was stupid because we got put into our groups... and I hate group work... And then I tried to nap, but it hurt too much and left me groggy. Then I did have a nice time reading with Sadie and writing a paper for school. But then... wooooorrrrk. Blah. And home to grog through some Japanese literature. Akutagawa, if anyone's interested. And excerpts from the Tale of Genji, which is hilarious, because he's suuuuuch a playa. Not a beach. I mean a playeR. Mackin' on womenlike.
Anyways, so this song reminded me of one of my faaaavorite passages in the Bible today, so I will share both contigo.
"Beautiful Mercy" by Laura Hackett:
"And He's brought me to the wilderness where I will learn to sing. And He lets me know my barrenness so that I can learn to lead. There is no pit too deep that Jesus cannot reach. There is no sorrow so strong that would overtake His beloved one."
Here's the accompanying scripture, taken from Hosea 2 in an NIV Bible...Starting at verse 14:
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor (meaning trouble) a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
'In that day,' declares the LORD, 'you will call me "my husband"; you will no longer call me "my master." ' "
Later in verse 19....
"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord."
SO. There's a TON of stuff I could say about this passage, but because I hope to maintain your interest, I'll try to keep it short. I really encourage you to read this whole chapter, and whole book on your own, because there's loads of good stuff in there that can be applied to both our personal walks with God and our nation's actions.
The idea in verse 14 pretty much that God needs to take us away from what we know and love, away from our comfort zones and our support systems for us to even begin to truly trust in Him. Hence, He leads us into the desert place, where we are made to face our barrenness. He calls us out of lush valleys to a place of brokenness, loneliness, and despair. But it is here in this place of emptiness that He whispers TENDERLY to us, "I love you, I am with you always. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
This verse, Hosea 2:14, is up on my whiteboard and posted on my wall by my bed. It reminds me that through all those times when I felt desperate for anything to hold onto, God had a plan. Yes, I've lost a lot, hurt a lot, and cried a lot. But through these broken times, I learned what it really meant to crawl back to Him, to rely on Him 100%, and to trust that He will bless me through the brokenness.
And the next verse, verse 15, promises us those blessings. He says that there in that desert place, He will restore our beauty, our comforts, our glory. "There she will sing as in the days of her youth." AHHH God is good! I tear up every time I read that part of the verse because of my own path with music and singing. But that story's enough for an entire entry on its own.
Basically, God has brought me through a desert place, and through the trials, temptations, and sheer agony, He has shown me a tender love unlike anything I've ever known in my life. He is the oasis in the desert, the deep well of abundance in the barren place. Drink deeply, my loves.
Whew. I talk waaay too much and only ever say half of what I mean to.
<3
Plans for the evening: a Michael Cera film in bed.
Current excitement: ....sleeping?
Hola all. Oldest sister informed me on Sunday that because I tagged people in my FB note about this blog, my privacy settings were disregarded and all sorts of creepers had a look. (Creepers like my family, incidentally). So now I feel less inhibited. But I'll try to get over that.
Today was stuuuuupid. I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm convinced that I am 80 years old and have arthritis, and as a result I kept waking up in the middle of the night with a VERY PAINFUL shoulder. I'm dying. Jokejokejoke. Anyways. And Soc was stupid because we got put into our groups... and I hate group work... And then I tried to nap, but it hurt too much and left me groggy. Then I did have a nice time reading with Sadie and writing a paper for school. But then... wooooorrrrk. Blah. And home to grog through some Japanese literature. Akutagawa, if anyone's interested. And excerpts from the Tale of Genji, which is hilarious, because he's suuuuuch a playa. Not a beach. I mean a playeR. Mackin' on womenlike.
Anyways, so this song reminded me of one of my faaaavorite passages in the Bible today, so I will share both contigo.
"Beautiful Mercy" by Laura Hackett:
"And He's brought me to the wilderness where I will learn to sing. And He lets me know my barrenness so that I can learn to lead. There is no pit too deep that Jesus cannot reach. There is no sorrow so strong that would overtake His beloved one."
Here's the accompanying scripture, taken from Hosea 2 in an NIV Bible...Starting at verse 14:
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor (meaning trouble) a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
'In that day,' declares the LORD, 'you will call me "my husband"; you will no longer call me "my master." ' "
Later in verse 19....
"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord."
SO. There's a TON of stuff I could say about this passage, but because I hope to maintain your interest, I'll try to keep it short. I really encourage you to read this whole chapter, and whole book on your own, because there's loads of good stuff in there that can be applied to both our personal walks with God and our nation's actions.
The idea in verse 14 pretty much that God needs to take us away from what we know and love, away from our comfort zones and our support systems for us to even begin to truly trust in Him. Hence, He leads us into the desert place, where we are made to face our barrenness. He calls us out of lush valleys to a place of brokenness, loneliness, and despair. But it is here in this place of emptiness that He whispers TENDERLY to us, "I love you, I am with you always. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
This verse, Hosea 2:14, is up on my whiteboard and posted on my wall by my bed. It reminds me that through all those times when I felt desperate for anything to hold onto, God had a plan. Yes, I've lost a lot, hurt a lot, and cried a lot. But through these broken times, I learned what it really meant to crawl back to Him, to rely on Him 100%, and to trust that He will bless me through the brokenness.
And the next verse, verse 15, promises us those blessings. He says that there in that desert place, He will restore our beauty, our comforts, our glory. "There she will sing as in the days of her youth." AHHH God is good! I tear up every time I read that part of the verse because of my own path with music and singing. But that story's enough for an entire entry on its own.
Basically, God has brought me through a desert place, and through the trials, temptations, and sheer agony, He has shown me a tender love unlike anything I've ever known in my life. He is the oasis in the desert, the deep well of abundance in the barren place. Drink deeply, my loves.
Whew. I talk waaay too much and only ever say half of what I mean to.
<3
Saturday, February 20, 2010
In which I elaborate on sweetness
Current Tunes: Nataly Dawn
Plans por la noche: edit, read, vegetate.... So thrilling.
Current excitement: Going to Target tomorrow!
Helloooooo mateys. I was saying to Kendra yesterday that I feel awkward, because I don't know who's reading this, or if anyone is. Soooo............ Hey.
I sure am loooooving this semester. It's so chillax. And, esp. now that I'm off FB, I feel like I have spare time to drown in. Part of me feels like a loser, because I should be running about, being involved in activities, hanging out with friends, so on and so forth. But then I realize that for a very, very long time I have been a crazy busy bee. So a month or two of living in a lull does not make me a loser. Nope. And now I have time for things I want to do, ie purge my room, read excessively, attend worship meetings, keep a blog (!) and see people that I have missed. AND having spare time means I can keep up with my classes this semester and not fall apart like last time!
So that is how I feel.
The Holy Spirit word of the week(s) has been "sweet," with an offshoot of "tender." I feel like God, in allowing me these solid hours of free time, has been drowning me with life's sweetness. I swear He's just showering my life with beauty. I've seen the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets this week. And oh, the other day flocks of birds over the highway. Gorgeous. And yesterday leaving Bethel, I was struck by the silent dignity of the leafless trees, huddled close together. God knows I have a photographer's eye, so He sends me these images for my memory's photo albums. I feel like all this beauty I've been seeing lately has just been God reminding me that He hasn't forgotten me- He remembers me here and showers His love over me.
As a result, I've been "devouring the sweetness of life." Every moment holds beauty- whether it's a calm drive home from work, fifteen extra minutes in the morning, a beautiful song, a breathtaking verse, or my nephew smiling at me. And all this beauty comes from the Creator. So thank you, Jesus, for what you have given me. Mmmlife and living.
So last night Kenny Lendra and I went to check out Generation Revival (?) as a part of Twin Cities House of Prayer (hereafter referred to as TCHOP) at the Roseville campus of North Heights (which my grandpa helped build!). The worship team from Concordia Academy was leading so that was great; they're faaaantastic. I think both Ken and I really enjoyed it. Jesus and I enjoyed re-getting to know each other, I think. I kept being fascinated at how Jesus is the lover of my soul, but more on that in another post, I think. Anyways, it was a precious time, and if you're ever looking for something to do 9-midnightish on a Friday night, there you go.
So the verses for today come from Colossians 3, specifically verses 1-4, though the whole chapter's GREAT.
From NIV, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things about, not earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will also appear with him in glory."
My favorite part is the last verse which says "Christ, who is your life.." I just love that idea, that we died with him and will rise again with him when he comes back for the wedding, and that until then, we're called to live Christ-centered lives. We're not simply Christians in theory... But our Saviour is meant to be the very core of our beings; he should be our focus in every aspect of life- school, relationships, driving, meals, finances, working, reading, looooving. It's aaaall about Him. Remember that!!
Okay. Love to you dear hearts. Until next time.
<3
Plans por la noche: edit, read, vegetate.... So thrilling.
Current excitement: Going to Target tomorrow!
Helloooooo mateys. I was saying to Kendra yesterday that I feel awkward, because I don't know who's reading this, or if anyone is. Soooo............ Hey.
I sure am loooooving this semester. It's so chillax. And, esp. now that I'm off FB, I feel like I have spare time to drown in. Part of me feels like a loser, because I should be running about, being involved in activities, hanging out with friends, so on and so forth. But then I realize that for a very, very long time I have been a crazy busy bee. So a month or two of living in a lull does not make me a loser. Nope. And now I have time for things I want to do, ie purge my room, read excessively, attend worship meetings, keep a blog (!) and see people that I have missed. AND having spare time means I can keep up with my classes this semester and not fall apart like last time!
So that is how I feel.
The Holy Spirit word of the week(s) has been "sweet," with an offshoot of "tender." I feel like God, in allowing me these solid hours of free time, has been drowning me with life's sweetness. I swear He's just showering my life with beauty. I've seen the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets this week. And oh, the other day flocks of birds over the highway. Gorgeous. And yesterday leaving Bethel, I was struck by the silent dignity of the leafless trees, huddled close together. God knows I have a photographer's eye, so He sends me these images for my memory's photo albums. I feel like all this beauty I've been seeing lately has just been God reminding me that He hasn't forgotten me- He remembers me here and showers His love over me.
As a result, I've been "devouring the sweetness of life." Every moment holds beauty- whether it's a calm drive home from work, fifteen extra minutes in the morning, a beautiful song, a breathtaking verse, or my nephew smiling at me. And all this beauty comes from the Creator. So thank you, Jesus, for what you have given me. Mmmlife and living.
So last night Kenny Lendra and I went to check out Generation Revival (?) as a part of Twin Cities House of Prayer (hereafter referred to as TCHOP) at the Roseville campus of North Heights (which my grandpa helped build!). The worship team from Concordia Academy was leading so that was great; they're faaaantastic. I think both Ken and I really enjoyed it. Jesus and I enjoyed re-getting to know each other, I think. I kept being fascinated at how Jesus is the lover of my soul, but more on that in another post, I think. Anyways, it was a precious time, and if you're ever looking for something to do 9-midnightish on a Friday night, there you go.
So the verses for today come from Colossians 3, specifically verses 1-4, though the whole chapter's GREAT.
From NIV, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things about, not earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will also appear with him in glory."
My favorite part is the last verse which says "Christ, who is your life.." I just love that idea, that we died with him and will rise again with him when he comes back for the wedding, and that until then, we're called to live Christ-centered lives. We're not simply Christians in theory... But our Saviour is meant to be the very core of our beings; he should be our focus in every aspect of life- school, relationships, driving, meals, finances, working, reading, looooving. It's aaaall about Him. Remember that!!
Okay. Love to you dear hearts. Until next time.
<3
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
In which I digress
Tunes: Monsters of Folk
Evening plans: Bones with sunflower seeds
Current excitement: working on Kendra's senior pictures- they're GORGEOUS.
So here's the story on this blog.
Today I went to chapel with Matt (Wednesdays are Soulmate days). I didn't know it was Ash Wednesday until it was mentioned at the beginning of service, which just goes to show how often I look at my calendar. I never really understood the meaning or implication of Ash Wednesday, but today my interest was piqued. The speaker (I'll try to remember her name...) spoke on the different things God says when He speaks to us and it was really, really helpful for me.
During our quiet reflection time, I felt a strong urging from the Holy Spirit towards two things: A) that I give up Facebook for Lent and B) that I start a blog, because He gives me a lot of stuff to say.
Giving up FB for 40 days will be difficult, but rewarding. Giving stuff up for Lent shouldn't be like... "What would I miss the least?" or "What is the healthiest option?" It's about giving up the biggest thing hindering your relationship with God. And for me at this point, it's Facebook, because it sucks up my time and lifeforce. Time that I should be spending with God. So there's that. I'll go on to upload some pictures, but that's about it. If I use it at all, it won't be for more than five minutes. In correlation to this, I'm going to be making a strong effort to read some Christian literature, to attend more prayer/worship meetings, and spend A LOT more time in prayer.
And the blogging... Well, for a large part, this is all for meeeeee! To keep me accountable in my walk with Christ, to help me remember what I do from day to day, and to help me empty my head of recurring thoughts. But for the few of you who may be interested, it's a chance to get inside my head and live my days with me. Good luck keeping up. ;D I'll try to share interesting/important Bible verses, quotes, photos, lyrics, or videos each time I blog....
So all that aside (sorry for droning on, I tend to be long-winded), here's the first thing I'd like to share with you:
The verse behind the name of my blog, taken from an NIV Bible, goes "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
This is Romans 8:37-39. These verses jumped out at me during my reading of Romans a few months back. Just the strong claim that NOTHING can separate us from His love, if we crave it, ask for it, and accept it. I've sinned loads in my life, like any other human being. And oftentimes, the Deceiver will try to convince me that God doesn't love me, want me, or think of me. Darlings, that is a lie straight from the pit of Hell. DESPITE our sins, our shortcomings, our failures, HE LOVES US. Endlessly, hopelessly, desperately, perfectly. For eternity.
Soak that up, pumpkins. That's all for tonight. Please enjoy my life, because I AM!
<3
Evening plans: Bones with sunflower seeds
Current excitement: working on Kendra's senior pictures- they're GORGEOUS.
So here's the story on this blog.
Today I went to chapel with Matt (Wednesdays are Soulmate days). I didn't know it was Ash Wednesday until it was mentioned at the beginning of service, which just goes to show how often I look at my calendar. I never really understood the meaning or implication of Ash Wednesday, but today my interest was piqued. The speaker (I'll try to remember her name...) spoke on the different things God says when He speaks to us and it was really, really helpful for me.
During our quiet reflection time, I felt a strong urging from the Holy Spirit towards two things: A) that I give up Facebook for Lent and B) that I start a blog, because He gives me a lot of stuff to say.
Giving up FB for 40 days will be difficult, but rewarding. Giving stuff up for Lent shouldn't be like... "What would I miss the least?" or "What is the healthiest option?" It's about giving up the biggest thing hindering your relationship with God. And for me at this point, it's Facebook, because it sucks up my time and lifeforce. Time that I should be spending with God. So there's that. I'll go on to upload some pictures, but that's about it. If I use it at all, it won't be for more than five minutes. In correlation to this, I'm going to be making a strong effort to read some Christian literature, to attend more prayer/worship meetings, and spend A LOT more time in prayer.
And the blogging... Well, for a large part, this is all for meeeeee! To keep me accountable in my walk with Christ, to help me remember what I do from day to day, and to help me empty my head of recurring thoughts. But for the few of you who may be interested, it's a chance to get inside my head and live my days with me. Good luck keeping up. ;D I'll try to share interesting/important Bible verses, quotes, photos, lyrics, or videos each time I blog....
So all that aside (sorry for droning on, I tend to be long-winded), here's the first thing I'd like to share with you:
The verse behind the name of my blog, taken from an NIV Bible, goes "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
This is Romans 8:37-39. These verses jumped out at me during my reading of Romans a few months back. Just the strong claim that NOTHING can separate us from His love, if we crave it, ask for it, and accept it. I've sinned loads in my life, like any other human being. And oftentimes, the Deceiver will try to convince me that God doesn't love me, want me, or think of me. Darlings, that is a lie straight from the pit of Hell. DESPITE our sins, our shortcomings, our failures, HE LOVES US. Endlessly, hopelessly, desperately, perfectly. For eternity.
Soak that up, pumpkins. That's all for tonight. Please enjoy my life, because I AM!
<3
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